Disclaimers:
Summary:
Warnings:
Notes:
|
"
by
Blair stretched, the ache in his over used body, the mild throbbing of his ass reminding him unneeded about last night. The spot beside him still held a trace of warmth, so Jim could not have been gone too long. For a moment the urge to stay were he was, wait for Jim to return, to snuggle and play some more was played out in his head. But the beer's at last nights game were banging at his bladder. Nature was calling, and calling collect. He slid out of bed, gathered his discarded clothing of last night, and padded down to the bathroom.
A quick look around the loft, and Jim was no place to be seen. Hum. Perhaps he went out to get a paper, or something for Breakfast. Sundays were some times donut days. He smiled at the thought of his lover slipping out and getting breakfast. He would get a shower, and wait for him.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
His shower was quick for him. The dryness of the air told him that Jim had not shower yet. That was odd. He never left the apartment unless it was an emergency, without a shower. Esp as sweaty as the two of them had gotten last night. Oh well.
Towel wrapped around him, he went to his room to put his dirty clothing in the hamper. The last thing that he expected to find was Jim, standing, Zoned, holding his uniform. What the Hell?
"Jim?" Blair came to stand in front of his partner, Looking intently into his blank face. "Jim?" It was as though no one was home. "Hey big guy. Come back to me." What had he zoned on? Why was he in his room? "Come on Jim, your scaring me. Come on back, It is my turn to make breakfast." Blair put his hands on Jim's face. Debated about kissing him, but unsure if it was a good idea.
Slowly, reconnection returned to Jim's face. "I thought that I could trust you." He thrust the uniform into Blair's arms. "Want to tell me about what you did on Friday?" Cold interrogation. His back room bad cop voice. And no good cop around to protect him. How the hell did he know about the call to Carol? Ossification would not do at this point. She might have called him, misguided need to help.
"I am sorry Jim. I did not know what else to do." He shuddered at the look of disgust and anger on his face. "I was wiged out about how you were acting. I had to turn to someone."
Blair was prepared for Jim being angry at his calling of his ex-wife. He was not prepared for the sucker punch. He tumbled backwards on to his bed, his last waking sight Jim's cold and set face.
****************
Jim slid to the floor, numb. Blair was supine on the bed, unconscious, a trickle of blood coming from a cut on his mouth. What had he done? The copper iron smell of his blood struck Jim like a blow to his belly. He had seen Blair hurt, bleeding so many times. Each time he would have traded places with him, Been in the path of harm rather than Blair.
Blair was unconscious, and it was his fault. He was bleeding, and it was Jim that had struck him. Over a woman. Blair had admitted that he had gone to a woman. He had smelled the stench of her perfume on his uniform. smelled the dust of floor, of wax, of Fear, of arousal. He had cheated on him.
On Friday. They had started to be loves in truth. Started to trust. Started to be partners. And Blair had betrayed him. He gave another sniff to the pants of the uniform. She must have had her hands all over him. The underwear was still balled up inside of them. No smell of her on them. No smell of completed sex either. No feme musk, just the traces of Blair, and his usual pheromones, usual traces of Ready for a Table leg Blair. All of this hit him in a subliminal level. Oh they had not had sex. But by the smell she had been interested, and so had he. Dust and floor wax. Had they been rolling around on the floor? Interrupted before it could have gone too far? That could explain the fear. But the uniform was not that messed up, and just the back of it had traces of dust. The shirt had specks of paint. Old faded, shedding paint. The academy. He would remember that green any place. SO it had to be someone from Cop school.
Blair moaned softly. Jim checked his heart beat. He was not near coming too yet. Dam. Things were going so good. He had hoped that this time things would be different. That trust would not be..... misplaced.
What the hell was he going to do? The side of Blair's face was starting to swell. Jim shoved the uniform into the hamper, haphazardly, and went to get the ice pack that habit and need made needed to keep in the freezer. As he came back from the kitchen something in the living room caught his eyes. The set up from before they had left to go to the Jags game. All of the toys were still out. The feathers, the fur, the silk, the cuffs. Anger filled his heart. That he had let Blair do that to him. Give him that trust. Let him bind him, Tie him, Cuff him, make him a play thing.
And he had loved it. Given in to it. Let Blair make him his whore. Well, that was never going to happen again. He picked up the two set of cuffs.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Blair woke, in pain. That was nothing new. His face ached, and was cold and felt like a weight was on it. He tried to lift his hand to push it away. And could not. He turned his head, and the cold pack fell away. Sight. The light was dim, but this was his room, this was his futon bed. His handcuffs presumedly that held him to it. God his head hurt. For a moment he started to call out to Jim, but stopped himself. Remembering. Jim had hit him. Punched him. Cuffed him when he was out. Fear based response. Fear of betrayal. WHAT the hell had triggered it? Jim had been holding his uniform, zoned on it. That had to be the key. OK. Start from there. What had happened on Friday besides him calling Carol? How had Jim found out about that? Had he found out about that? Really. Jim is a Sentinel. But how could he know about a phone call? Fear.
Blair's fear. What had happen when he had talked to Carol? Panicked. Jim had smelled his panic, from 3 days ago. He knew that something had happened. Just not what. And he had opened his mouth, and put his foot in it. God knows what he was thinking.
OH God. Jade. He had been helped up off of the floor by Jade. He probably could smell her perfume, her smell. If he could smell it, It was dam sure that Jim could. And he had gotten just a bit turned on.
Fear based response. Jim smelled a woman on him. Could smell him turned on, smell his panic. The smell of Blair panicking would attract Jim. The pheromones would make it stronger. Adrenaline. Zone. Jim had reacted to what Blair had said in a fear based response.
His blessed protector had punched his light out. Shit. And cuffed him to the bed. Hell. He was back in Hell.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Grimly Jim left the video store, returning early the watched and un watched tapes. The world seemed cold, despite the warmth and light. It was 11 AM, clear and sunny, but for his soul, it could have been midnight and raining. That would even be a comfort. He got into his truck. He should go home. He had left Blair cuffed to the bed. Not nice, not safe, but he was not feeling safe or nice. He needed to think. He needed.. what did he need?
He needed Blair. No way that he could kick him out, or even let him leave. He needed his guide.
No, he could not let Blair leave. No matter what. The little punk had made him like this. Made him need him. Made him love him. Spoiled. Damage for any one else. He was going to have to be accountable for that.
He would just have to make sure that Blair would never be able to cheat on him. Ever. A cold sad smile fleeting passed over his lips. If only things had been different. But he would make it OK. He would make Blair be good.
**************
Ringing in his ears. It took a few minutes for him to figure out that it was not his ears ringing but the phone. He was beyond able to answer it. Man. His head hurt. Opening eyes. He was in his room, alone. He tried to rub his aching face, to move the cold that numbed it. He could not, hands cuffed to the frame of his futon bed. The phone stopped ringing, and the answering machine picked it up. "EllSON! Sandburg! Pick up!" It was Simon's voice. He sounded pissed. Worried. Normal. "I need both of you ASAP! I have had a break through on the MIA that you are working on." Pause "Ok. I am going to try the cell, and you had better have it turned on."
Blair laughed hollowly to himself. He heard the Cell phone ringing in the living room. It was his phone, Jim must have turned his off, if Banks was that desperate to call him. Hell. He was in hell.
This was not the first time that he had gotten out of cuffs. He pondered for a moment the thick tube sock that had been placed under the cuff. Jim had taken the time to pad his wrist from harm, using the same socks that he had used on Jim. Irony. Blair worked the thick fabric down his arm with his teeth, and tried to pull his hand out. No luck. He tried the other one, repeating the tugging down of the sock. This one was slightly looser, but still... If only he had some oil or.. Wait a minute.
Tugging squirming and dint of some convoluted movement, he was able to get the tube of KY out from under his pillow into his mouth. Lucky that this was a flip cap, he scraped it open, and squeezed a glob on to his wrist, and attempted to smear the lubricant best as he could around. IT was working! For once he thanked his mom for his hands, and the shape that lent itself to this sort of escape. So intent he was in this action that he did not hear the front door open.
"Blair what the hell are you up to?" Banks stood in the door way, the unlit cigar clenched in his teeth in true danger of being chomped in half. "Don't tell me. Some lady friend of yours got upset in the middle of playing and left you high and dry?" Simon shook his head in amassment and disgust. "What did you do to piss her off? Must have been a dozy. Or were you playing Good cop bad cop? Wait, Wait, I don't think that I even want to know. You amaze me some times."
"Something like that... Can you get me out of this before Jim comes home?" Blair was mixed relieve and annoyed at the Capt. Showing up.
"Jim is going to kill you. What were you thinking?" Banks grimly uncuffed one hand, and gave the key to Blair to undo the lubed one that he had nearly escaped from. "I don't want to know what sort of kinky things that you have been up to, but you had better get this place picked up! And get dressed." Simon gave him a look of Disapproval. "Were is Jim? He is not answering his cell phone. I can see why you did not answer yours. Were the hell is he?"
"Today is our day off.. Right? Amm.. Do you mind?" Simon turned his back as Blair hasty pulled on the Jeans that were beside the bed, Kicking Jim's shorts under the bed. Hopefully Banks had not noticed. "I don't know were Jim is, I am not his keeper."
"Right. Like I believe that. And last I checked you were his keeper. Guide. Whatever the hell you do. You do a dam good job. Now you better pick up this place, before he gets home and kills you. I need you to go on line. We had kidnapping of a Cascade Jag player. Number 33, Creed. The mayor wants me to look into this personally. That means my friend that you and Jim no longer have the day off. "
"That might be a problem, Simon, You see.. " Blair stopped unsure how to proceed. How to tell Simon that things had gotten so weird with Jim. That Jim had been the one to slug him, and leave him cuffed to the bed. That the toys that were strewn over the living room were use on Jim, not some woman as Banks thought. Nope. Not going to go there. "I had plans."
"Consider them canceled. The Mayor asked for you. I know you understand what that means. After all the flack that has gone down, this is like a seal of approval from god. I had to call in some big time favors." He looked at Blair, mixed fondness and expatriation on his face." I know that we are all doing the Best that we can. I know what you gave up. I know that you did not ask for this. But it is the only way that I can keep you and Jim together.'
"Maybe it is time for us to be apart." Blair stone faced, edgy. "I am not sure if I can do this any more."
"Nonsense. You will get through the academy Just fine. I have heard nothing but good reports about your performance, and you have one of the top 10 range scores. There is talk of setting up a special profiler division just for you. And Jim. You would still be with major crimes, but it would be a big feather in my cap, and a big pay raise and stature for both you and Jim. Think of it Blair." Simon paused. "Think of what good Jim could be as your partner as a profiler."
Simon tossed something at him. It was the Jags tee that Jim had bought him last night. "Get dressed. Let's get this place ship shape. I am going to try calling Jim again."
Blair sat on his bed, Jags shirt in his hands, and began to despair. Hell. He was in hell.
*************
Jim was nearly at the house. He had been nearly at the house for 15 minutes. He was circling the block. Fuck. What was Simon's car doing here? He reached for the phone and turned it on. It rang, too close and too loud, he near dropped it. He knew it had to be Simon.
"Yes.." Cool. Had to be cool.
"Jim. I need you and Blair to go on a case. The mayor has asked for you and for Blair. A Jag team member was kidnapped from his hospital room early this AM."
"Let me Guess. Creed 33."
"Right. I am with Blair at your place now. How soon will you be getting here?"
"Five minutes." Jim hung up the phone.
Simon was with Blair. At his place. Oh God. He had left Blair in cuffs, bound to his bed.
He sat in his truck outside the loft, listening to the talking that was going on between Blair and Simon.
"Jim is going to freak if he comes back to this mess. What is with you that you would bring someone in here of all places? Did Jim know that you had company? Or that you were going to have a love feast in his living room? What were you thinking letting some one cuff you and leave you alone? Have you never heard about safe sex? It is a wonder you are not dead yet."
"Jim is aware of the situation. He is not happy about it. But he knows."
Ossification. Blair was protecting him. The ice that was formed around his heart started to melt. Once more he had done the unforgivable and Blair had ... well if not forgiven him, had not told Banks.
Jim headed up the stairs, prepared to face the music.
*****
"Morning Sir." Jim entered the loft, not taking off his coat. Banks was standing holding a cup of coffee, Blair was making his allege shake. He looked at Jim, nervous, defiant, scared and pleading at the same time. "Morning Blair." Cool. Had to be cool, professional.
"Morning Jim." Blair took his cue from him. This morning never happened. Last night had not accrued. The Guide relaxed a bit. He could do that. Simon would be the safety net, one that would keep things from being too weird.
Banks turned and looked at the two of them. Something was going on. What he was not sure. Just that something was happening. Even with the evidence cleaned up, Jim had to know that the Kid had someone in, that all sorts of kinky things had been going on. Wait. Blair had said that Jim knew. Was not happy about it, but that he knew. That was just not like the James Ellison that he knew. Something had to be up with the kid. He had been nervous and jumpy and just not his usual cheerful self. He had chocked it up to the whole thing with his dissertation, but this was something more. Part of the reason that he had given the tickets to the Jag game to Jim was that he felt that the Kid was under a lot of pressure, and needed to relax. But this was something more, something sinister, deeper. Who had he gotten tangled up with that would abuse him like this? The Bruise on his face was starting to purple, and he could see the scrape marks on his wrist from were he had fought with the handcuffs.
Banks looked closely at the Kid. He was looking at Jim like he was expecting to be.... He did not know what, but it almost looked like he was afraid for a second. Hell. After the stunt that he had pulled, that was to be expected. But he had seen this look before. Something was up. He filed this in the back of his mind, determined to look into it as soon as he had time. And forgot it.
"Morning Jim! As of now you are on a special task force, that consists of you Rafe Meg and Blair. The Mayor has put her word in that this is top priority. I do not need to tell you just what that means. This could be the chance that we have been looking for to set up a task force, a Profiler one, that would be revolved around you and Blair."
"I see Sir. Give me 5 minutes and I will be ready to go." Jim walked to Blair. Wordlessly Blair handed him a cup of coffee, eyes meeting for just a moment, silent communication, till Blair's eyes dropped, and Jim turned away. Jim had been in the military. He could take a 3 minute shower and be dressed in 2.
Blair drank his shake. Banks watched him, despite the ugly green concoctions that all but turned his stomach. Something was just not right with the boy. Any other time he would be bouncing all over the place, alive with ideas, insights and passion about the Profiler program, about how to use Jim's senses to there best abilities.
"You know this is a golden opportunity for you, Blair. With the background that you have in anthropology, and a bit of creativity we have the ability to use you and Jim to ...."
"Later... OK?" Blair pushed away from the counter and grabbed his Jacket. Holstered his gun with a look of distaste, and put his Id in his pocked. He was standing at the door like a Puppy waiting for Jim, as he came down the stairs still pulling on his shirt over the Jag's tee. For some reason Blair flinched when Jim looked pointy at him as he buttoned up the shirt.
"Lets Take the Truck. First stop the hospital." Jim scooped the keys out of the basket, and tossed Blair his set. The look that passed between them was so primal and painful that Banks had to look away. with all that happened, no wonder that Jim was cutting Blair so much slack. Guilt is a two edge sword, and both of them had more than there fair share of it. But it was about Friendship too. He just hoped that the Friendship was strong enough to bear this load.
Blair shouldered his backpack, and the three headed out to the site of the crime.
*****
Simon sat in the middle of the truck bench seat. This space was usually Blair's, as he had shorter legs, and had that honor. And it was an unwritten law that Blair always sat next to Jim, was always up in his persona space. Touch space. This AM Blair seemed to be pulling away; He was even to Simon, crowded agents the door of the truck, his backpack wedged between them like a barrier. And Jim and Blair were not talking. Dam. The last thing that he needed was for Jim or Blair to be in a snit.
"Gentlemen, I hoped that as evidences by the sporty tee shirts that you have on that you did indeed attend the Jags game last night". Jim nodded. " Then I am sure that with you keen power of observation and all, you saw that Creed 33 was hurt in the game. He was taken to Cascade Gen were they did 'Ortho scopic Laser surgery to relive the pressure. This morning a still stadated Creed vanishes, and a ransom note is left on his bed. They have left every thing as it was. I am hoping that you can shed some light on what has happened. And who might have taken him.
Irony. The room that Creed had been was the same one that Blair had woken up in after being...Dead...in the fountain. For a moment both Jim and Blair exchanged troubled glances. Blair then nodded and Jim proceeded into the room.
"Use your sense of smell. Do you notice any thing?" Blair was in Guide mode. What ever had been troubling him had slide into his back pocket for the moment. At last he was focusing on Jim, Working with him as a teammate.
"Hospital smells. Cleaner. Orange. Disinfectant. Either."
"Good, Good, now filter that out, focus on some thing that you member from the game."
"Sweatâ?¦ Tiger balm. Baby power." He hovered over the bed, breathing in the sent of the man that had been lying there. "I see some thing. There are two different kinds of hair on the pillow. Same shade, just one is flat strand and the outer round." Jim carefully picked up the pillow and scented it. "Two different types of shampoo. One is medicated, the other some thing with an artificial strawberry sent. And both had the same body soap, Dial I think."
Jim went over to the metal locker, and opened it. He took a whiff of the air that wafted out of it. "Traces of tiger balm and Strawberry shampoo, no baby powder,"
Jim looked over the bed frame and beside the bed, stroking the floor next to the bed, looking for foot prints or any evidence.'
It has been wiped down. But there is a partial l on the underside of the railing, could be a nurse, in any one, but it is the only one left. And a smell like rubber, new on the floor, a scuff mark, " He rubbed his fingers together "And a different sort of disinfectant, floor wax. Combo than from the hospital. I feel just a trace of body heat from the bed; it has been empty for at least 3 HR.
"Good work. Now we have to see what you get from the note."
Simon handed the letter sized ransoms note to Jim, still in the clear plastic envelope. Jim opened it a crack, and sniffed.
"It looks hand written, but it was printed out on a laser printer. Who ever handled it used gloves. Latex,"
Jim handed the note to Blair. "What do you make of it?"
Blair examined it. "Your right. I think that this might have been done in a E-Mail and sent to some one. Look at the way that it is spaced. This was done in a hurry. "
Your rising star has fallen. But not very far. If you want your 33 back it will cost you. 3Million 3 thousand dollars and 33 scents. I will be in contact.
"Looks like some one has a thing about 3. Most likely some one with some sort of history with mental illness or compulsion, or some one that wants us to think that way." Blair handed the note back to Banks.
"I Knew that minor in Psyche would come in handy." Simon was pleased despite his attempt at sarcasm. Blair was starting to act more normal.
Jim was smiling at Simon and Blair, some of the tension of this AM rolling off of him. Suddenly he stiffened. "Oh, no. Say that it not so. Please no. Not again!"
"Jim, what is wrong?" concern filled Blair's face.. He looked intently at his sentinel.
"Hi Guys! Miss me?" Cassie Wells breezed into the room, toting a large bag,
"Wells! What are you doing here!"? Simon was flabbergasted.
"The Mayor gave me a call about 2 hr ago. She asked me to come down and help out on the new Profiler unit that she was putting together." She smiles sweetly as she brushed past Jim and began to sweep over the bed with a hand held blue light device. "This will.."
"I think that I will leave this part in your capable hands. We have someâ?¦ calls to make."
"Nice to see you Cassie." Blair had at last gotten his wits back to talk.
"Ya, nice to see you Wells." Jim's voice was neutral, not a good sign.
"Yes, it is going to be real cool working with you guys. Here is my cell phone and pager and fax number. I have a hook up in my van, so if you need to you can send me reports, or I can fax you what results I get.. Do you have the note?"
Simon handed over the incased letter. Cassis ran the light over it. "No finger prints, no pen ink, I would say that this was from a lazar printer. Possibly with a paint program, then sent by E-Mail to some one. Look at the spacing.
Jim and Blair looked at each other. "Good Job Wells. We will be in touch if we get any thing new."
Simon sighed on the way to the truck. Hell I am in hell. Little did he know that he had company.
*****
"I see. Well thank you." The problem with cell phones is that you cannot slam them when you hang up. Simon did punch the off button as aggressively as he could though, and the cigar that he was chomping on was in need of replacement, even if he had not lit it. For a moment he avoided the gaze of Jim and Blair, feeling all too keenly the heat of that intensity. "Well Jim, I am sure that I do not have to explain to you what that was about."
"Well, why don't you explain it to the person that is not hearing enhanced?" Blair asked mildly. "It sounds like the Mayor is set on having Cassie on the team. I certainly do not have a problem with that. I am sure that in the last two years that she has gotten enough experience that she will not be" He stopped appalled remembering some of the things that she had done in the past. "Well Jim, maybe we can get dinner out of her again?" Blair looked at Jim for the first time that morning with something like his usually manner.
Jim tensed for a second, then melted. Laughed. It broke the tension that had been clinging to them all day. The 3 men relaxed; unaware of how tense that they had been till that point. "You can order the surf and turf. I am going for the 24oz rib eye, with the 12-buck desert the one that comes with the fire extinguisher. "
The three of them laughed. It was good, the mood shifted from the drum tight to the just right that easily. Jim and Blair traded ideas about what to order, each trying to top the last in exotic and pricey. Simon let them continue for a bit, basking in the relaxed atmosphere the comradeship that had been missing for far too long. Dam but he had missed the kid, and it was good that Jim was at last acting like his old self. The last two months had been like dealing with a zombie.
"I hate to break up this party, but I have to remind you that the Mayor had her eye on this project. What you do, what we do will be under close scrutiny. Do I have to remind you about the fraternizing rules? No dating any one on this team. Do we understand one another? If I find any hint that you have been engaging in any sort of fraternization I will have you booted off of this project so fast, it will make your head spin." Simon paused for a moment to let this sink in. He gave Blair a measured dark glowering look. "This goes epically for you Blair. Cassie is some one's pet project. And she is dam good at what she dose, even if her style is a bit pushy. I just want you to be professional, and treat her like a team member. The Mayor wants some one that IS not a detective on the team. The fact that she is not a cop is in her favor at the moment. Have I made myself clear on this ladies?"
"Crystal" Blair replied. His voice was soft, a hidden pain.
"Perfectly" Jim was sharp. His in control, best cop voice.
*****
Jim sat for long minutes after Simon had left. Blair had stayed in his room, yelling a parting to Banks as he left. For a moment the Sentinel dropped his head into his cupped hands, weariness washing over him like a wave. The last three days had seen so many changes. Blair and he had become lovers. God. Trust Blair to make the best of a bad situation. Banks words hit to the core. Some thing had not been right with the Kid for a long time. Simon believed that Blair was in an abusive relationship. Wanted him to get help, get into Therapy.
He was in a relationship with Blair. The sent of a woman on him had pushed a button that he was not aware of having, positive. The knowledge that, the fear that Blair could betray him, finding this out after taking that last step the one that would label him forever in his heart as being Gay. He could kill him. But he would not. He loved him. Blair loved him. And Jim needed him, loved him.
He just had to find a way to make Blair behave.
And that non-frat thing, dam. It meant that they would have to be care full. Back off a bit. No way that Blair could go for counseling. No way that he could talk about what was going on with them.
Just was not going to happen. He just would have to ...back off.
++++++++++++++++
Blair cradled the Guitar to him, holding it as though his life depended on it. If Jim came in after him, he was going to use it on him. The violence of this morning could not happen ever again. His jaw was still tender, and revealed a purple bruise, not as bad as could have been but it never should have happened any way. The devastation in his soul was matched by his confusion. Working with Jim today had been like old times, back when he was an observer, Jim's friend and Guide. It had felt good. He doubted that he would have been able to play the role before Friday, Before Jim had started to treat him as a lover, and less like a martial aid. He had said that he loved him. Let him do things to him that well only some one that trusted you loved you would allow. Had let Blair teach him how to be a lover, gentled him. And he had forgiven him, let the last 5 plus weeks of being used by him go. Jim had started to open up, let go of his fears, let his guard down. And each time his trust had been even a little compromised, he had reacted violently. Spanking him when he was late coming in from a class, but oh, no, that was his fault. He had promised Jim something, vague hints of a sexual encounter. And had fallen short, a day late and a dollar short. He had let Jim down, and Jim had reacted badly. All things considered it was like waving a raw steak in front of a starving panther. You hold back the food and you will get mauled.
But even that had been a wall to be torn down. And they had come through it stronger, or at least he had thought. He sighed. This was so confusing. He had a chance to use his training, and work with Jim in something that could truly use his talents to the utmost. And as a side benefit, few if any one got shot at or kidnapped at the investigation stage of the crime. Oh he could so do with that. Even if it meant riding a smaller roller coaster, he would still be playing in the same park. And he would be able to put the gun aside, perhaps, in time. He hated that gun. Even if in the span of working with Jim, he had been handed a weapon countless times, it still filled him with chill dread. He never wanted to have to fire a gun again.
But what about Jim? How could he deal with, Life with, work with the man after this morning? Could he go back to the life that he had before the dissertation blew up in his face? He had not left Jim during the worst of the... experience. The Cold Jim. The Jim that used him, and then disregarded him. That blamed him for his wanting him, that had to have him but denied that salient fact, no, strait cop James Ellison just could not be gay. He had to fight it. One thing that he did not count on. Blair loved him. Hell. He was in hell. The next question was what did he do from here? No way was he going to spend the night in the bed that he had been tied to. He might wake up and find himself cuffed to the bed once more and no Simon to rescuer him.
Shit. Simon was treating this like he was a freak, like he had gotten himself into another situation, and it was mostly his fault. Why he had protected Jim, he was not sure. Just that for so long he had been doing just that. Protecting the Sentinel secrets. Keeping him safe. Guiding him.
The question was... Was Blair Sandburg a good enough guide that he could lead Jim out of the dark place that he was in now? Could Jim trust him enough to let him? Blair fell back on the bed, the guitar falling to the floor with a jangle of sour notes. All most instantly there was a knock at the door.
" You OK Chief?" Jim, sounding like the old Jim. Not the cold Jim, not the lover Jim, but Jim of old, that worried about him, had to be sure that he was safe. Habit made him answer.
"I am find." Blair froze. He did not know what to say next. The door opened. Jim stood carefully on the outside of the door.
"You hungry?" Carefully neutral Jim was watching him. Something like need or desperation in his eyes.
"I could eat." Blair was still, waiting, almost afraid to move.
"Dinner will be done in about 5 minutes. Used that ostrich meat to make some fajitas, hope it works like chicken." Jim shifted slightly, pulling back from the door, about to close it.
"Cool. It should. I will be right out." Hope rose. Jim always offered food when he was about to apologize to him, or try and make him feel better.
Dinner was a strange affair. Some place between the courting meal, with cloth napkins, and take out. Candles were on the table, the tall dripless smokeless, scentless, ones. The fajitas were on soft warm tortillas, accompanied with a cold soup, and wine. Talk was of the case, and the rehashing of the crime, the lack of further demand from the kidnaper. How this might affect the team in the next game, what it would do to the moral of every one else. Esp the long terms players that had been with the team like forever.
By the time that the last bite was gone, Blair and Jim had relaxed to the point that Jim was able to tap Blair on the forehead, joking about using his head.
And they both froze. It was nothing, just a love tap. Right.
"Jim"
"Blair"
They both began at the same time. Dam. "You first." Blair wanted to duck into the next room, but hell, He had to know what Jim was about to say.
"Want some of the Rum Raisin Icream you got? " Jim was back to being carefully neutral.
"Sure. Bring it on."
*****
Jim handed Blair the cold heaped up bowl of ice cream. With out asking he had toped it off with whipped cream and a cherry. Blair looked almost warily at his sentinel. Jim's face was calm, almost Serena. Not exactly happy, but more at peace than he had seen him all day. Blair relaxed, and dug into the treat, scooping the rich ice cream up, savoring the rum, and the slightly rubbery feel of the plump raisins. Normally he was a Chocolate and what ever was odd, including the dakeiery and bubble gum flavors, mixing the most contrasting tastes that he could. Dacery and Chocolate mousse royal was a treat that he let him self have when he was down, rum raisin was a concession that night to time and Jim's tastes.
"They still need to fix the compressor. I can taste the freon in this Ice-cream." It was said conversationally, not as a complaint or reprimand, but just as a statement."
"If it is that bad I can take it back" Blair paused, looking at Jim, waiting.
"Na, I just dial it back a bit. Good Ice cream though. Thank you for getting it." Jim scooped up a heaping spoon full, and let it melt slowly in his mouth, slowly working his way through the different layers of flavor, the vanilla, the swirl of sauce, the run, the raisins, eyes closed, savoring each nuisance of taste.
"The favor of the month is some thing with coconuts in it. I can taste a trace of it from the scoop, they need to change the water that they use for dunking more often. Some one with a allergy might have a reaction."
"Wow. You can taste that? Cool!" Blair was back into Guide observer mode. " I just had a thought. Want to try some thing?" At Jim's warily nod, Blair jumped up and went to the Kitchen, returning with a small jar of green cherries. " Jim, I wanted to see if you could tell the difference in the taste of the red and the green, if the dye had a taste that you could detect. I heard some one at a bar bitching about a green cherry being used in a drink instead of a red one, and he claimed that he could tell the difference. Want to do a Blindfold test?"
"I will just close my eyes, thank you." Resigned and amused, but willing to give in to Blair's test, any thing to bridge the distance that had happened between them today. Jim took a sip of his bottled water to cleanse his pallet, closed his eyes and opened his mouth. Blair fumbled a moment, and opened a jar. A second later a cherry was popped into Jim's mouth. Sharp taste of alcohol, the sweet taste of syrup, the almost after taste of cherry, the faint metallic tang of .. Dye? Perhaps, citrus, Corn, corn syrup? Hum. The woody pulp taste of the stem, waxy and bitter as he worked his tong around it, sucking the flavors out of it, biting the fruit off of the stem, splitting the cherry down the middle with his teeth, lapping at the spongy crisp center, sweeter than the waxy smooth outside, tasting it along the front and sides of his tong, at last sliding the pieces to the back of his taste buds, a copper tang. Ok..
"Next?" Jim took another sip of water, swirling it around slightly. An another cherry was popped into his mouth, sweeter, with a slight tang of salt, the stem was longer, the fruit less waxy, No alcohol in this one, just sugar, no corn taste, and less copper taste. Plastic, a taint of some thing that was petroleum based. Must be the one that came from the Italian mart, in the little tubs. It had a back ground wood taste, like an old wooden spoon or scoop.
"I can tell the difference, but I am not sure what is the red or the green one. Different brands that is for sure. Let me try the first one again.
Jim opened his mouth. A cherry was popped into his mouth. Along with Blair's tong. Cool mint under Mexican and run raisin, beer and cherry. The heat and definite cold cherry that was invading his mouth over whelmed him. Blair's tong moved in and took up residence, making it self at home, exploring his back teeth and pallet like inspecting an apartment that he was planing on moving into.
Jim froze. He had resolved the problem of there relation ship. They just could not have one. Simon had made it clear about dating, on this team and at the work place. Surly Blair had not missed that. And after this AM, how could they? He could feel the residue of heat from Blair's mouth and face from were he had decked him this morning.
Sweet slow and tender Blair pillage Jim's mouth, unhurriedly lapping and kissing the slack unprotesting orifice, slowly bring his hands up and around Jim's back and head, feather touches, till he had cupped the short wire hair in his left hand and encompassed his back with his right. Slowly, almost reluctantly Jim responded, his arms going around Blair, , siting side by side, gradually Blair moving into his Sentinel lap, claiming that space like he had a right to it.
Jim's intentions and resolves fled before the gentle onslaught of Blair's hands and mouth. The pain of this morning conflict leached away. Sentinel soft, Blair breathed into Jim's ear. "Let's take this up stairs." He flickered a tong at the sweet spot just behind his left ear.
Up stairs. Safe from talking for the moment, he could just let his actions speak louder than words. Blair rose and took his lovers hand, and led him up the stairs.
*****
Jim hesitated at the foot of the steps. Blair on the step above him had the rare and unusual opportunity to see Jim eye to eye, mouth to mouth. Blair drew his reluctant lover to him, and kissed him, plundering his mouth, finding to his surprise that Jim still had the cherry that he had popped into his sentinels' mouth. With a sweep of his tong, Blair captured the sweet fruit, and for a few moments the two traded it back and forth, playing with it, Blair teasing till Jim grasped the stem with his teeth, holding it fast. Blair bit the fruit off, chewing and ingesting in retaliation.
"I got your cherry Jim. Always knew that I would." Blair teased He stroked the wide firm chin, square and clenched at the moment. Dam. That twitch. He had said the wrong thing. When would he learn to keep his mouth shut?
"We need to talk Blair. Before we make any more mistakes."
"What are you saying Jim?" He hesitated. This could not be good. Not good at all.
"You heard what Simon said. About dating in the work place. About... relationships interfering with the job." Jim pulled Blair to him. "After this morning, how can you.. I "
"I understand Jim. We need to talk." Talk. Not a bad idea. It was the beginning of the end, but perhaps if Jim was the one to call an end to it they could stay friends. His heart was heavy, as Jim led him over to the couch. Then sitting, hands still held a connection that if broken, might not ever be forged again.
Jim sighed. Hell. He was back into hell.
*****
Jim's hand was damp and warm and tight in his. It was the only point of contact, that and the blue eyes that bore into his. There was a seats worth of space between them. After the last few days, it felt like miles.
"Jim, I understand. But you have got to let me explain. I never cheated on you. What you were smelling was ... Not what you think."
"OK, Explain it Darwin. " Jim was calm focussed. Neutral interrogation style.
"Remember the dream, night mare that you had the other day, about your Mom?"
Jim nodded, his Jaw twitching.
"I was just trying to get some information, to try and see if I could ... find anything that could help"
"And how did you do this?" Soft, so soft, Blair almost wish that he would yell, or act out.
"I called Carolyn. I though that she might know something. About your Mom."
"And she told you what?" So flat so dead the voice.
"That she had a gambling problem. You tried to make her behave. She left."
Jim started to pull back his hand, but Blair refused to release it.
"She told you ... "
"Her version of every thing. I would like yours."
Jim's eyes closed, and he slumped back into the couch. "It was so long ago. We had been child hood sweet harts, from 11 grade, even in collage, we dated. She was from Money, The Plumbers, New rich, but down to earth. I used to go fishing with her old man, it was like having a real family. I think that was part of it, she had this big extended family, with parents and grand parents, and sisters and screaming and yelling, and well they were just so alive." Jim sighed. "I mean Sally was wonderful. After my Mom left she was the best next thing to a Mom you could have, but you know, It is not the same..
"I think I know. I never had a real family either. But Naomi was the best. Is the best." She is like my best friend. But she was not your average Mom."
Any way, Dad never approved of them, and that was about the time that things got bad. I went into the army, made the when I come home we will get married, deal, and headed off. I came back home, and she sort of helped me get my life on track, first In vice, Oh she hated that. I had to leave vice to get married to her. There was more to it than that. I made some bad blood there. Dam. I was a bad ass know it all. Had the best arrest and conviction record that department had ever seen. Super cop. Ha."
"You had your senses even then. You just did not know it. And your Military training, covert opts. You were way head and shoulders above them. It was just natural."
"Any way, things never work out the way you want them to. I was never good enough for Carol. I never gave enough, I never loved enough. I was too neat, I expected too much. I was never home, but neither was she. The usual things. But I loved her. I needed her. I still love her. She was my friend when I needed it. My best friend." Jim rubbed his eyes tiredly with his left hand. "And I shut her out."
"I hear you." Softly Blair squeezed his hand. "But we can make things work. Make things better. We have to trust each other" He took a deep breath. "It about Friendship. It is about love. I do love you man."
"But it is wrong. I knew that from the start. Look at what I have done to you. You deserve better."
"We deserve to be happy. I am willing to fight for it. Are you?"
"You heard what Simon said."
"That was about Cassie. You and I know that."
"What if Simon knows more? He was here this morning."
:"I don't know Jim. We are going to have to play this by ear. But we do need to get some help. Even if we are not.. "
Sleeping with each other? Fucking? Oh you pushed me over that edge. It is never going to be the same. Jim thought to him self. "We can pretend that it never happened. I never wanted that to happen."
"Stop Jim. It did. Blame is not the issuer. It is were we go from now. If you want to stop it that is up to you. A partnership can only work if both people are willing for it to happen."
"Are you saying that you want it to end?" Jim turned and looked Blair in the eye.
"I am saying that I want things to be better." Blair smiled. "As intense and good as sex can be, it is not the only rock that this partnership is based on."
"So were do we go from here?" Jim looked intently at Blair, Longing making his eyed deep blue.
"We were heading up stairs. Shall we? " Blair slid over and straddled his lap, releasing his hand to wrap his arms around Jim, and kiss the mouth that still tasted like cherries.
*****
Jim hesitated. Blair was warm and firm in his arms, and his kisses had a sweetness that had more to do with longing and need than with the residue of the cherry taste on his tong. For a moment the temptation to just give in, to let Blair lead him up the stairs to the waiting bed, to let him do to him what ever he wished, to trust that his guide would not hurt him, would not seek vengeance for all of the wrong that he had done to him, was hard to resist.
A hand found its way to the back of his head, and he tilted back to give better access to the searching tong that was gently invading his mouth. A gentle suction was tugging at his vulva, he could feel it pulled forward as air was sucked from him, before he closed off the back of his throat, and returned the sucking, tongs twirling slowly, exploring each nuance for texture and taste. Ice cream. slightly soured by the enzymes of the mouth but still good, and cherries. Oh yes.. the sharp tang of Maraschino cherry flooding his mouth.
"I love you." Blair said this without moving his mouth, sub vocalizing it not breaking kissing him. For a moment the sound vibrated in his head, echoed in his sinuses and reverberated in the joints of his spine, tingled out work in the hard tissues and fluttered out into the soft, somehow the wordswrapped them selves around his cock, and squeezed.
Jim moaned into Blares mouth, his arms finding a new and better purchase around his shoulders and back, holding and clutching him like there was no tomorrow. He held his partner returning the embrace, feeling the hard pressure of the nipple ring, cutting into his chest, the brushing of the soft hair along his face.
And his breath, wafting labored from his nose, spilling over Jim's cheek, reminding him of when he begged for Blair to breath, for air to flow, for the heart that was pounding so fast now to just beat at all. Blair had been Dead. Big time Dead. Cold Blue Bag and Tag Dead.
But he had come back for him. The vision of the wolf and the Jaguar, merging into one. But he had not been ready to take that ... step with him, The water had been too scary. This was scary. What was happening between them.
Blair broke the kiss, pulling back wide blue eyes deep and filled with passion looking up into His Sentinels. "Jim, Please, Come up stairs, Let me love you."
Come on in the water is fine... "I am not sure I am ready to take that step with you." Jim similed a sad tender smile at his lover. Yes. His love. Resolve. Gay not gay. Blair was his love." I love you. I just am not.."
"Its OK. Trust me. I am NOT going to take you any place that you are not willing to go. We have time. This is about firendship. This is about love. You have got to trust me on this. I have got to trust you too. We can make this work, but only if you want it to."
"OK. Lead on Hiawatha.
"Not funny Jim. I am not the only one leading the way. I may be your guide, but we will learn from each other. Teach each outer. It might had started screwed up, but I think that eventually we would be at this point."
"But You do have the hair." Jim teased a wild lock, curling it around one finger.
Eager Blair tugged at Jim guiding him up off of the couch and up the stairs.
"Any last words?" Blair was trying to contain his eagerness, trying not to pressure the still skittish Jim.
"None that I can think of." Jim hesitated. He had made the rule about not talking up stairs. It had been a safety net, to avoid getting too deep into things.
"All Right!" Nothing could Keep Blair's excitement down for long. His hands pulled Jim guiding him up the stairs. "This is going to be so good. Trust me!"
"Coming from you those are still two of the scariest words I have ever heard." Affection deep in the words, and The sentinel followed his Guide.
*****
Blair turned to Jim, Hope and love clear in his eyes, hooded with just concealed lust and Blair on the prowl need. Sure Jim was much bigger than Blair, but at the moment Some thing about him scared Jim to his soul.
"Come on Jim, We can do this." Blair was on the first step, once more at eye level with Jim. He tugged the sentinel to him gently, and kissed him, the taste of cherry still rich in his mouth, His tongue sharp with the savor of the faint trace of alcohol
"OK. I am going to regret this right?" Jim strove for playful, hiding his apprehension, as Blair rubbed a hand over his ass, twining the other over the tight fabric of his groin.
"Come on Jim, You Know that we will not do any thing that you are not up for." With a sigh Jim let his Guide take him up the steps, His mouth gently plundered on each step, a touch for each movement forward. By the time that the partners were at the top of the stairs, most of Jim's reluctance had faded, and he was kissing Blair with whole hearted abandon, accepting as his shirt was striped away, unbuttoned slowly, stroking Blair's hair away from his face, looking in to the blue eyes, trusted eyes, lovers eyes. His Guides eyes.
Hands that he knew so well stroked his back, easing up his undershirt, undressing him a part of a flowing forplay that left no room for doubt or questions. Hands slide down his arms stroking gently along the inside of his arms, trailing down to the palms and fingertips, burning a feather soft trail of awaking sensations over the oh so sensitive sentinels flesh.
Zoning. He was about to zone on the sensations, his head tossed back as skillful hands and lips explored his body, a flesh hued statue, breathing heart beating, but stone still least movement break the spell. It was the hands working down the zipper of his Pants that brought him out of the zone.
Awareness came back to him, as he fought past the sensation of the overriding pleasure, sensory overload of opening to the ministrations of his Guides hands and mouth. Jim looked down. Some how Blair had gotten him self naked. A wry thought in the back of the Sentinels head reflected that he must have gotten a lot of practice at that.. At this art of seduction, with all of the women that he had entertained over the years.
Hesitantly Jim's hands came around his Guides shoulders, stroking the soft wire short hair there, touching him through the thick mail of his curls. Blair looked up, smiling. The most endearing thing that he had ever seen in his life. He was like a kid in a toyshop, enjoying this. Having fun. Seeing just how much or what sort of pleasure buttons he could find on Jim, on his lover. That was Blair. Impulsively, Jim pulled Blair's face up to his and kissed him. The flavor of -passion seasoned -sweat, his was mixed in with the taste of his guide. He tasted himself on his lovers tongue for long moments, as Blair continued to undo the zipper, slide down the boxers, pull then down around his ankles with one foot and nudge Jim's foot out of the pants and shoes.
He was not truly aware of the few steps to the bed.
Jim was almost shocked to feel the comforter under him, the feather tick crinkle under there combined mass. Blair was above him, rubbing his hardness over and around him, Bending Jim's head up so he could still kiss him, the difference in height being adapted to, like some one that has long been used to accommodating larger lovers.
Blair released Jim's head, and it fell back onto the pillow with a soft thud. He kissed his chin in the way of apology, but unrepetitive continued the kissing down his neck covering his chest and nipples with warm soft lick kiss nips, traveling the path down his body, raining random touches over his body. Blair was Goal oriented at the moment. He reached his goal, and looked up for a moment, Grinning Happy, A few laps at the erect cock, Looking up at Jim, love bright in his eyes. Waiting.
"Yes. Please." The words were moaned more than said.
And Blair took this as a signal to take the large shaft deep into his mouth, sliding his hand down the thick column, one hand cupping the tight balls, a index finger sneaking into the cleft of his ass, teasing the secret spot just behind the balls, circling the entrance to his ass.
It was almost too much. "Jeassus Chief, OH."
"Dial it down a bit Jim. I don't want you to cum yet. It will be less fun if you cum before I nail you ass." He gave another slow slurp lick to the hard cock in his hand.
Dam This was it. The kid was going to fuck him. A shiver rocked his body.
The Sentinel is the property of Pet Fly Productions.
All series, movies and characters are the properties of their respective owners. No infringement of those rights is intended. All fics on this site are the copyrighted property of their respective authors.
Site and design copyright © the other g.m.
All Rights Reserved.
