Disclaimers:
Summary:
Warnings:
Notes:
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by
Blair held the hard near ridged body before him. Jim's arms were up over his head resting on the cupped hands. with the sleep mask on, he almost looked like some sort of sacrificial offering, a virgin splayed out to an unknown fate. Blair held his reluctant lover. This had not been his idea in the first place, Not the way that things had started out, sex out of a raw need, and guilt and desperation that had to more to do with control than love or sharing. Jim had been in that strange place, that head strong I have been betrayed place after things came out about Sid and the Thesis, and the whole exposed sentinel crap. Blair had not been aware of offering what Jim took as his, sexual submission. Maybe if the Department had not been shot up, if Meg and Simon had been around, If he had not been pushed into the role of Jim's care taker, things could have started on a more even footing. He was just SO not into being a victim. His guilt had allowed that to happen. Jim's need for control, need to mark his territory.
Blair was his partner, Dam it! And it was about time that he started to act like it. His leg was as good as it was going to get. He had no excuses to hold back. Blair was willing to be a lover, a partner. But not a prison bitch, a mouth that was to be fucked, a orifice that was to service. Part of that was his fault. He had let it go on far too long.
Remembering...
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Jim was siting on the couch his leg propped up on a pillow. In pain. The drugs that he had been given had not helped. The dials were not working. and the more that Blair tried to help, the more frustrated that Jim had gotten.
"I think that I am allergic to the plaster, to the tape. It itches. It hurts."
Jim was wining like a little kid.
"Don't scratch it. Let me put something on it that might help." Blair was massaging the cream into his upper thigh when he noticed that Jim was sporting some major wood. It had been over a week since that first time, when Jim had unzipped his pants and accepted a blow job from Blair that he had not been aware of offering. Almost with a clinical detachment, Blair had run one finger over Jim's hard on.
The next thing that he knew, Jim had opened his boxers and Blair had found himself pushed non too gently down on Jim's cock. It was not rape. He had touched Jim first. Had been kneeling beside the couch, His hair trailing over his thighs, posable over his cock, touching him, breathing on him,
Loving him. Caring about him. Hell, a part of Blair was grateful that there was something that he could do at last to make him feel better. And it was not as bad as the last time. It took just a few minutes, Jim's hands on the back of his head, guiding his actions, not quite hurting him, not quite choking him, raw and primal, and animal and over so fast. Jim was asleep before he ever pulled his head away from the softening cock, his hands sliding away, tangled briefly in his hair, the closes thing to a caress that he had gotten out of the deal.
But Jim was asleep, a peaceful smile on his face, and wasn't that all that mattered? His trusty Guide had gotten a wash cloth, cleaned him up, tucked him in and covered him up.
And neither of them had talked about it. And Jim stopped touching him. except when he wanted something. Blair's head between his legs, Licking at his crotch, sucking his cock, thrusting his dick 9 inch deep into his throat. It was so long between times, that he had almost thought that it was about to stop.
It was such a relief, being touched, that he almost was relieve when it came time, and Jim silently unzipped his pants and wordlessly pushed or pulled Blair down to service him. No word spoken, no gasp of joy or thanks. Just release, and falling asleep.
Sorry. That just was not going to cut it any more. Even the gratification that Jim had given to him, the last nights hand jobs, and the break through in communications, the shift in relationship that had allowed him to be in Jim's bed, holding his body, it was not enough.
It was almost that Jim was letting him use him, in exchange for using Blair. Sorry. That Just was not going to happen in the Sandburg zone. Sex is about sharing, not using, about giving, not taking, about making not breaking. Sex at its worst was a challenge, the interplay of two personality's, Working off of each others energies. At best it was caring sharing, loving needing and happy, fun, engaged with a willing heart, a randy mind, and hot willing bodies.
So far sex with Jim had not been fun. Truth to be told a lot of things with Jim had not been fun in the beginning. He had to teach Jim in a lot of ways to unbend, to relax, to be at ease with himself. This was just one more thing that he needed to guide him in. For a moment, he felt a twinge of regret at the years lost. But each moment in the last 4 years had brought them to this place. To now. From Blair saving his life from the garbage truck, to Jim Calling him back from death at the fountain, this was it.
All of these though ran in Blair's head as he held the ridged body of his lover, His hard and needing erection pressed into his hip, His leg laying over Jim's silk sheath cock. He was just holding him, hopping that the tension would ease a bit out of his body, That he could relax, and that he could make this good, beautiful for both of them.
Blair kissed a random spot of flesh on Jim's chest. "I love you, Big Guy. It's all going to be OK."
*****
The two men lay, a study in two contrasting elements. One is fire and water, flowing moving, changing, the other, stone and cold, ridged and resilient and resistant to change.
"Dial it up, I know you have it down. Bring up your sense of touch, I will be careful." Blair whispered this, hoping that Jim would understand, and forgive this much. Strictly speaking it was not conversation. It was instruction. Not discussion. "Relax, just drift. Let it go, feel the heat of my hands, the stroke of my..."
Without warning Jim's hand came up behind Blair's head, and pulled him up and over to his lips, Kissing. Him. The kiss still was without real passion, but friendly, and lingering, growing both softer wetter and more aggressive. His partner at first shocked then pleased at the change of attitude, joined whole heartily, and soon the two were kissing and necking like teen, But Blair held to his word. He was gentle. He had told Jim to Dial it up, Being aware that he could do a harm to his love, soft kisses were trailed down the neck, ears were explored with the most careful of tongs, following the inter play of folds and dips, amused at finding short soft hairs there, that perhaps was the most drastic difference that he had found so far between making love to a woman than a man. Ear hair. He would have giggled, but the proximity to Jim's ear, well, It could be painful, And for sure it would spoil the mood. He lipped the outer shell of the ear, exploring the small hot spot just behind it, and below on the neck, kissing over the jaw, chin, revisiting the hot open mouth, re claiming the heat and wet, the willing tong, down the jaw to the other still unexplored ear.
He was melting. It was as though someone had removed the inter structure of bone, and cartilage and muscles and he was just a Jim shaped vessel of need and yielding. Slowly unzipped, striped of all the layers, undone, the last walls crumbling, defenseless, vulnerable to the hands and mouth and breath and words of his partner.
For a moment he was tempted to take of the sleep mask, but the light was too much, the sight was too much. For the moment he needed the last hold out, the last buffer of sensation, for just a small bit to keep this from being too real.
A moist mouth and soft lips descended on one overly sensitive nipple. He sneezed. And sneezed again. And coughed. the mouth stopped, and went to the other nipple. Same thing happened. Coughing. Uncontrollable coughing. Each time a hand stroked, or a tong lapped, The sentinel was seized by a fit of coughing or sneezing. But only when the nipples were touch or fondled.
At last the tender exploration stopped. Blair rested his head on his sentinels chest, frustrated. Jim was trying. His subconscious was not.
The false sence of well being leeked away like a plug pulled on a nice hot bubble bath, when you are still in the tub.
Time for another change of plans.
*****
Blair was frustrated, wishing that things were different. His first attempt at seduction had backfired. He had wanted so much to show Jim a softer side of lovemaking. Dam. This was hard without talking, without being able to share his views and insights. From what Caroline had said, Jim was not a talker in bed, more of a doer.
The temptation to just go ahead and give Jim the blowjob that had worked so well, and just get it over with accrued to him, and was gone in a second. He had had difficult lovers before, had made near frigid woman Multi orgasm. It had taken some time, and caring, and normally Blair was more than up for a challenge. He was still hard, and so was Jim, so it could not have been that much of a turn off. Just needed a different approach. He kissed his sentinel. That much he knew Jim liked. Mouth on mouth, licking the corners of his lips, brushing his over the yielding ones under him. Jim's arms came around him, and he was held, then pined. Need. Touch. Now.
Jim's hands were all over him. His body was all over him. His carefully though out plan to teach his sentinel about softer side of loving, of sharing, of passion and after glow were wiped away, as with a Growl, Jim mounted his Guide, his hard cock rubbing on his belly, lips and teeth ravishing the oh so sensitive spot that he had been worrying on Jim's neck. Though went out the window.
Jim was a being possessed. Blair moved, trying to align himself better, and the teeth at his throat clamped a touch, just to let him know that movement was not permitted, that He was in charge, that any actions at this point were up soul to him.
It was a scary feeling. And a monster turn on. At this point, Blair was quite glad that he had prepared and lubed him self up, just in case.
The same trail of kisses that had been bestrode on Jim were returned with interest on Blair. Jim must have had his hearing turned down. Other wise the ungoverned half scream moan would have deafened him. A brief attack on ears and neck, an assault on the furred chest, seeking out surly by heat the hard points of need, nipples that were hard and engorged, lapped sucked and tweaked, a trail of tears down the tight belly, equally furred, a round robin exploration of creases and folds, tucks, foreplay on fast forward, near painful in it urgency, but gentle in its dispatch. Blair watched as a near hesitant tong lapped at the now leaking head of his cock, the first time ever that Jim had offered such an act, given this lovers gift. The sight of the effectively blindfolded man going down on him, was erotic, and moving, but oddly disturbing. It was all that he could do not to babble to Jim about how good it was, how much he loved him, To curb his vocal feed back that was a good deal of his love making style. A moan escaped his lips. Jim froze for a second, pulled from what ever space he had been in, then resumed, descending on the hard cock, shaping his mouth awkwardly attempting to pull it all in his mouth in one swift and even swoop.
And almost choked his self. It was near as painful, ramming the cock into the back of Jim's tonsils as it was for Blair. Jim choked, and Blair gasped. Both stilled, for a long moment, assessing the damage that each had sustained. Blair stroked his lovers hair, letting him know that he was OK, questing to see if Jim was OK. Non verbal small nod, that btw, felt very nice, as the tight warm mouth bobbed over his cock. A moan was forced out of his mouth. It was good at this moment that speech was forbidden. This was taking his breath away.
Blair watch the head of his lover decent once more on his manhood, heartbreaking slow, sweet and hot.
Balanced on the razors edge of pleasure, torn between complication and continuing as long as his lover would give him till, He watched as the masked man did things to him, good things. Hell. Oh my. Oh my good ens. Oh my... Oh My ... OH MY GOODNESS....
It was almost painful, coming in slow motion, too out of it to even warn His lover that he was about to explode, as a gasp of suppressed surrender issued out of Blair's mouth, and he arched up, fighting the urge to pump into the hot mouth that engulfed him, to pound into the heat, to fuck the warmth, to reach for and reunion himself with the back of Jim's throat, to cup the back of his head, and grasp, holding his still, to drill into him. Fill him. Take him like his sentinel had taken him, hard and raw, lust and power. But such was not in him.
He took what was offered to him, and it was Dam good. Better than he would have expected just a week ago. This was defined a step in the right direction. Not perfect yet.. but closer than ...
Jim listened in satisfaction, as his Guide slumped back, Undone, unzipped, unboned, unconscious
Payback. Paybacks could be such a bitch. He pulled the lax body of his Guide into his arms and tucked his erection into the warmth between the two of them. He stroked his hair, as Blair began to softly snore. He was so easy to love now. No demands, no needs, no shame. Pulled the quilt over the two of them, just holding his sleeping friend. A soft kiss on his sleeping Guides forehead, and he settled down for what ever peace time could afford him.
You ask me why I love you..
Why do ships with sails love the wind?
And the random play of music danced softy in the background of the night.
*****
A memory of warmth. The still damp imprint of hands on his back, the soft ache of sex, too fast, more a priming of a pump than true for fill met. A warm slightly moist spot on the bed met his fingers, as he reach out for his lover. He had no idea how long he had been passed out. Dam. That was becoming a habit. He had never been this rude, or out of control before! He could understand now Jim passing out after.... Well,. He did him.
However. Blair Sandburg had never left a partner high and or dry in his life. And this was Jim. He sighed gently and looked at the clock. It was a little after 1:20. Were was Jim?
The sounds of the CD were still there, Ghost like, He strained to hear them, trying to pick up were His Sentinel was. He had learned a few tricks from him. One was about sound. A body in a room absorbed sound. More if clothed. Jim was in the living room, the smell of a wood fire greeting him. Perhaps that is what woke him up. He needed to go to him. To talk, To share. To try and figure out what was up. To try and share with him, bring some of the Joy that sex could be. What had happened had been well, incredible. Not the best that he had ever had, it had been too fast and overwhelming for him to truly savor, but he could appreciate the fact that Jim had given to him. Had made love to him. Sure it has some things to work out, but well, skill was not one of them. It was almost that he knew his body too well, and perhaps he was just doing to Blair as he wanted to have done him. Hopefully, He made his way down to his Sentinel.
Jim was laying on the rug, looking into the fire. He still had his boxers on, a black shadow on the still pale form. His head was propped up, and he stared into the fire. Head on fist, curled onto his side, it was an incredibly sexy pose, The silk pulled tight across his ass, showing each curve and fold. Mesmerized, Blair stopped just to watch his love. He had always been aware of his strength, his size, his raw power. The Jaguar from the Fountain vision. For a moment it was superimposed over Jim's as the fire light danced over his body. For a moment he was humbled. This was a Myth made man. A being out of legend. His Grail. Now his love. Worth fighting for. Worth working for. And he loved him. The one that he had been looking for his whole life.
"What the hell are you staring at Sandburg?" Jim voice was just a tad grumpy. "Don't tell me that zoning is contagious."
Blair snapped out of it quickly. "Just looking at the view. Nice fire." Nice ass.
And His Guide laid down beside his Sentinel, both looking into the fire, hips and shoulders just touching like they had so many times over the years.
*****
The Two men laid on the rug, Blair curled into Jim, behind him, His head on his shoulder, chilled in his nakedness, but not willing to change the dynamics of the situation by dressing or moving to get the couch throw. The intimacy of the moment precluded talking, just the wordless communication of touch. Blair's hand found Jim's, and he nestled his fingers into that laxed embrace, wrapping his fingers around his large thumb, just resting gently in his lap. He squeezed gently but got no answering squeeze, but was not rebuffed ether. For a time he just watched the flickering dance of the fire, and the light play on his lovers face, calm, surreal, but closed. Covertly he watched, admiring the grace of his cheeks, the artful balance of his brow, high wide forehead, deep set eyes, a near Neanderthal brow ridge. That had been the last thing to tip him over the edge in considering if Jim had been a throw back. The brows. He had admired them, as a visage of power, a sign of many things, but hand not considered them beautiful. Hand not looked at his sentinel throw the eyes of a lover. He had seen Him as His sentinel. His friend. His Blessed protector. But not a lover, till it had become the a need that could not be overlooked, or denied. What a rocky road it had been. Was going to be.
He did not realize it, should have thought about it. It was subtle, but there. In the boxers, under his hand holding Jim's, the faint stirring of his lovers arousal. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, it hardened, elusively just out of his reach. He looked at Jim, trying to gage what his wishes were. Afraid to ask, to speak, to break the precious moment, to destroy what was the most sweetest moment of his life shared with Jim. With micro movements, he edged just enough to assure him self that this was indeed a hard cock that his wrist and fingertips rested on. For a moment he thought about his hand wrapped around that, instead of the thumb of the hand he was holding, But this moment was not about sex. He watch the unchanging face of his friend.
"I am cold. If I head back to bed would you want to join me?" Blair asked in as off hand of a way "It would be more comfortable."
"No. "The look on his face did not change. Still relaxed, content. More at ease than he had seen him since before the whole Thesis disaster.
"OK. I would rather be warm with you than comfortable." Blair moved away and snagged the throw off of the couch, and wrapped it around both of them. Jim's hand had moved from his lap to his chest, over his heart. Blair moved his hand back under Jim's hand, loose in its embrace, feeling the pulse, the beat of the heart under his hand, held in the loose embrace of Jim's hand, Little changed could be seen in his face, the dim flickering of the dying fire softly illuminating it. For a heart breaking moment he longed to know it. To know him as he had not before. He slid his hand gently away from the hand that was holding his, and trailed questing fingertips up his chest, neck, exploring the throat, experiencing the sharp Adams apple, so different from a woman's, another difference, but not unpleasant, just different, just Jim. Fingers stroking, trying to experience the touch like a sentinel would, finding the soft scratchy places that his hasty shave this morning had missed, the difference in the length and softness of stubble, the difference in texture of skin from under the chin to the cheeks, the soft swell of heat that was his lower lip, the sweet grace that was his upper. For a moment he played with the idea of more exploring, but this was not the time. Over to the too tight skin of his jaw, firm even in this relaxed state. His chin was so ... well male. Like a bridge, a nature made structure meant to hold a great weight. Flowing the jaw line up, ears. Nice ears. Big ears. Feather touches, exploring the folds, finding an unexpected cartilage knot. Jim had had a pierced ear? Hum. Information to hold onto. Blair smiled to himself. Jim had not told him that he had an earring. Blackmail. Not that he could ever blackmail him. This was probably from his vice days. perhaps he would ask him about it
But not now. Jim had not objected to this tender exploration, But had not given much in the way of encouragement. Better to not push his luck. He continued up and over the broad forehead, petted the eyebrow with his little finger, like a miniature cat. His urge to stroke and play with Jim's hair was thwarted by Jim shifting a bit. Unsure if His sentinel was uncomfortable with the exploration, he returned his hand to Jim's hand, and with his hand pressed to his Sentinels heart, slowly fell into an easy sleep.
In front of the fire, The sentinel was held in the arms of his Guide, safe in the warmth love and security of one that understood him. He should be happy. He was. It troubled him. Happyness had always had such a high price.
*****
Jim had never quite fallen asleep. The uneasy joy of the moment might be too fleeting to miss it by sleeping. The warmth of the body sagged agents his back, wrapping his arms around his chest might not happen again. Perfect moments had to be treasured. When the alarm up stairs had at last sounded, he had carefully lifted away the arm, and slid out of the comfort of the embrace, reluctantly leaving his cuddling Guide, sliding a pillow under his head, to make do instead of his shoulder.
Routine. Coffee. Shower. Clothing. He was up and safely showered and dressed before Blair was even stirring. Keep temptation at bay. This was morning. The sun was up. Dreams of love and comfort could now be dispelled. The harsh reality's of job and life were calling, welcoming with the mindless need to answer the demand.
"Morning, JR." Jim lifted his cup of black coffee to his lips. Blair looked blearily up, too disoriented at being on the living room floor to orientate on any thing but the fact that Jim was not next to him.
"Morning " Blair's head sunk back down to the pillow for a moment, as he gathered him self to face the challenge of getting up, facing the day, or what he should or could say.
"Coming into the station today?" Normal sounding, query that he had heard over the last 4 years hundreds of times. At least.
"What day is this? Tue? Sure. I don't have classes till this evening."
"Grab a shower. You want pancakes?" Still carefully neutral. Pancakes were something that was done during camping trips, or long slow Sundays once in a blue moon. Most of the time Blair had his shake, and Jim bacon and eggs or some other protein, or waited till work and grabbed some donuts or Danish or junk from the vending machine, the Iron Mother that gave substance but no warmth or comfort. And some times not even the candy that you paid for.
"Pancakes? Um.. " Blair looked at the clock. He had to take a shower, there would be time. Even to clean up. "Sure.. that would be great. Unless it is too much trouble."
"I want to." Jim put down his coffee cup, and approached his now standing Guide. For a moment Blair was sure that Jim was going to kiss him, hold him, take him in his arms and ....."
Jim's hand came down on Blair's ass in a firm swat. "Go. Shower. I will have food when you come out, but we can't waste time" A smile of affection and amusement filled Jim's wide face, as Blair scatted towards the bathroom, looking over his shoulder at Jim in amaze met at his sentinel.
"Oh man." Blair looked in the mirror at his face as he shaved. "You are so screwed. Like how do you get yourself into things like this?" He showered quickly and carefully, not having to worry about the hot water as Jim had had his first, but still aware of the time.
Toweling off, heading into his room, he saw Jim pulling out the pancakes from the oven that he had put there to keep warm as he made them, putting out the real maple syrup and honey and butter and even some strawberry jam. Dam he had a good memory. All were things that he had used on pancakes from time to time.
Blair dressed quickly, carefully, and was out just as Jim was sitting down at the table. A cup of his usually morning thunder tea was seeping. He was touch by the though, even if this AM he truly could have used the caffeine kick of coffee.
"All--right. Thanks man. Smells wonderful! He put a small dollop of honey in his tea, poured a bit of the warm Maple syrup on his pancakes, and tucked into the high sugar too much carbohydrate breakfast that he was eating mostly to please his sentinel. Oh well. he would do the algae shake for lunch. This was too sweet of Jim to do to turn it down, or as every college Person Golden Rule was Never Turn Down Free Food.
Blair had just finished the last bite of his food with the plates were snagged and rinsed and slapped into the dishwasher. The last of his tea just cool enough to chug, as Jim garbed his keys from the basket, and tossed Blair's coat at him. "Lets go Chief."
Blair scrambled to grab his back pack, hoping that he had all of the things that he needed in it. No time to check, as he rushed as always to keep up with his sentinel. As he climbed into the truck, he realized that they were not even close to being late. He looked at Jim, in confusing and concern. What was up with him today? The Breakfast? The rushing out of the loft? He shock his head slightly, staring ahead, pondering.
Dam weird courtship rituals. If that is what this was..
"Thanks for Breakfast," he studied his partner, concerned. "What is the big rush this morning? Something big brewing that I don't know about?"
Jim sucked for ossification. Oh he could lie with the best of them. But not to him. He hoped.
"Not really. I... Just wanted to get a good head start on the day. Get the paper work caught up, tie up the lose ends on the missing person, might be a drug tie in or posable kidnaping. Scribes parents seemed to think that some sort of strangeness involving the Internet had something to do with it." He looked at Blair, hoping for understanding, or something. "Maybe, they could let you look over her PC, see if we can find any leads, E mail to track her down."
Blair looked unconvinced, but nodded, No mater how you cut it they were going to be over a HR early at work. Oh well. Would make up for some of the early evening that he was going to start talking Jim into taking soon. He smiled evilly to himself.
"That's cool Jim. Oh, and about last night?" His Sentinel Looked at him concerned. lucky they were at a red light.
He had his partners full attention. "You are going to be SO next." He smiled Cheerfully horny, happy and playful.
The light turned green, and Jim failed to notice till the car behind him honked. Still open mouth, slightly shocked looking, he drove on to the Cascade police department, and found his parking spot. Perhaps the same force that the Swallows of Capistrano used guided him at that moment. That was the only explanation that Blair had for how someone could be so close to a zone, and still functioning.
Blair smiled at his sentinel. It was going to be a good day.
*****
It was good that they had come in early. It gave them a bit of time to settle down, do some paperwork. Ground. Jim truly needed to ground. Usually he had Blair for that. But each time that he looked at the kid, he had a smirk on his face that was far from grounding. Urge's that he could not define or control tore at him. It was hard not to keep from touching him, from stroking his hair, or putting a hand on his back. Even in the meeting, Blair sort of sprawled out in the chair, he found himself pressing his knee gently to his Guides. No one could see. No one could tell. Unless you were a sentinel, and could hear the heartbeat increase of his Guide when he first shifted and touched his Kaki clad leg to Blair's denim covered one.
It was just touch.
It was just life it's self.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Oh man. He was about to lose it. Jim had been even closer to day than normal. He had gone from trying to keep his distance to being in an arm reach of him all day. Sitting at the Meeting, that thank goodness he did not have to take notes for, he thought that at last he would have a reprieve. But the firm heat of his sentinels knee cap pressed into his thigh was a constant reminder of each touch, each whisper of a caress that the two had exchanged last night, even given the one-sided nature of it.
The Idea of an algae shake for lunch went out the window, as the two of them debated Chinese or wonderburger for lunch. Wonderburger won out, due mostly to time, and the offer of his choice for dinner. Blair knew what he wanted. Sentinel la tartar, cream on the side. He smiled at him self, as he accede, snickering at Jim's sharp look, a moment of worry crossing his face.
"Please, Just don't let it be tofu, any thing but Tofu." He looked for mercy at his guide, aware that he had just given him cart a blanc.
"Don't worrier Jim. What I have planed for dinner has absolute nothing to do with Tofu." Dam. He had a class to teach tonight. Perhaps dinner could be early? And desert late? He smiled to himself giving Jim even more to worry about.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"I am so sorry to trouble you at this time Mam. I understand your concern. But your Daughter is of age that perhaps she just headed out to visit some friends and not tell you about it?"
Blair listened with half of his attention. It was the first time that Jim had been out of arms reach, let alone sight all day. It was a chance to relax for a moment, before looking at the Email trail that could lead to were the MIA had gone.
A HR later. Hell. How could any one have that much Email? Or be on that many lists? The box was full, and most of the entries were with in the last two weeks. Nothing about going on a trip, or visiting any one, just some strange lists, and ... no.. he was not going to read any ones privet correspondence that had nothing to do with the case. At least not yet. He sighed, and pushed away from the Keys, Rubbing his eyes. Nothing looked like a lead. The room its self spoke of a person that had an ecliptic assortment of hobbies. SF books lined the walls. Perhaps she went to a convention. That was something to check out. Something to toss at Jim. Dam He wished he could think strait. He giggled to him self softy, at the pun. He heard Jim clear his throat in the next room. It was time to go, and Jim had heard him giggle. he would want to know what he was snicker about. Oh Dear.
He had no elusions about Jim's change of heart. A wrong word could undo it all. The fragile nature of this new aspect of Sentenel/Guide bonding had so many bugs to work out. He would have to be gentle, careful. Let Jim set the pace as much as posable. Guide him, and help him accept what he truly wanted. Not that Blair was running away, or objecting at this point. But it was Jim's idea, need, what ever in the first place.
The Irony of needing to be slow and gentle with someone that had pushed you into all but unconsensual sex in the first place was not lost on Blair.
*****
Jim was quiet in the truck. Blair was having a hard time sitting still, Tossing out different scenarios of what had happened to the missing woman, that ranged from the real and gory to the odd and fancifully.
"Maybe she got sucked into the PC, seems that she must have spent a lot of time there. You should see the number of list, and the amount of Email that she has!"
"Playing the voyeur?" Jim smiled indulgently at his little buddy.
"No way! man! I just looked at her bookmarks, and scanned her titles for things like travel, hotels, you know." He took a deep breath. "We might check out some bookstores and SF cons. She has a collection of things.. that might hint that she was likely to attend one."
"So do you think that she could have been kidnaped by little green men, or beamed up some place?" The teasing, so much like the old days.
Blair made a noise like the sound of a Star trek sound effect. The drive back to station was filled with ribbing and speculation of the missing woman's whereabouts. It was stress relief, and helped take away the darker thought that something truly evil had happened to the missing one.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
It took longer than normal to fill out the paper work. Getting home later than usual, and with Blair having a late class, It was good that there was left over meat loaf and mashed potatoes, some mixed VEG added to round out the meal. Not the gourmand or grommet treat that he wished to make for Jim, but hell, he would make it up later. A pint of hand packed Baskin Robins each. And Blair was planing on spending more time teaching his Sentinel a thing or two about ... being sensitive.
He and Jim made dinner, setting the table, Blair debated using a candle, not sure how the smoke or sent would affect Jim. Better to skip it, than to ask.
Dinner was quick, comparable, normal. Dishes washed in record time. On impulse Blair turned and trapped Jim against the frig and tried to pull him down into a kiss. He was stiff, ridged resistance, Turning his head, so that Blair's kiss ended on his jaw.
The urge to blow off his class, was completely squelched. "Dam Jim, you do not have a romantic drop in your body." Blair sighed in good nature frustration, releasing him, stepping back, stroking his arm in parting. He had sprised him. Jim hated surprise's. He was lucky that he was not tossed across the room.
"Take it easy Tarzan." He smiled an uncomfortable smile. "We have all night."
"Ya, we do. As soon as I get back from teaching this class." Regret tinged his voice. "But I will get Ice-cream on the way home. What do you want?"
"You.... can't get someone to cover?" The look on his face was near unreadable. Disappointment would be too strong of a word.
"Not this late. Sorry Jimbo. I will make it up to you."
"That won't be necessary." He turned and wiped down a squeaky clean counter. "Have fun at school." Dismissive. Sending a child out to play.
It was all that Blair could do to scoop up his bag, get coat and keys, and leave without saying something biting and harsh. Somehow they would get through this.
Or he would have to explain to Simon why and how he had had strangled his best cop.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Class was over quick. As part of his working his way back in to the good graces he was helping teach the rookies some of his skills in surviving hostage situations, both as a rescuer, and as a hostage. The mind set of the criminal, or person that would do harm to an another. He had no degree, no training, but that of someone that had been taken hostage more times than he cared to remember. Looking back now, he could see some things that he could have done differently, but not many. The mere fact that he had survived them, was enough that he was asked to teach this class.
".......So one of the most important things is to keep your head. And have a partner that will back you up 100%! Thank you!
A smattering of applause from the 20 some odd men in blue warmed his heart. He just had to stay and talk after. Long after.
Baskin and Robin was just closing, but he was able to bluster his way in and get a pre packed quart of Rum Raisin. Not his choice, but one that Jim liked. Sigh. Jim was sure to bitch about the taste of freeon, this was the same place that had that taste in this cooler last time. Oh well.
The loft was dark. Shit. OK. Jim did not need much light. The wood stove was not lit, and it was all too silent.
"Jim?" Blair set his keys gently in the basket. Dam. Hope that he had not gone to sleep. Oh. Bed. Perhaps he was waiting for him in bed. A smile eased across his face, as he hung up his uniform, and striped completely. Just to make sure that Jim had not fallen asleep down stairs, he used his pen light to do a quick sweep. Empty of life. Brushing teeth, running the water, He though that he heard something. Ducking his head down to spit, coming up, he was startled to see Jim in the mirror behind him.
"Jiiimm!" High pitch started squeak. Jim flinched a touch at the sound. "Man, I am like so sorry. You just startled me. A stealth bomber has nothing on you!"
Jim did have a sense of humor. Blair knew this. It was not in evidence now.
"Your late. Were have you been?" Flat. Accusing. The look in the Sentinel eyes were cold and hard.
Oh Shit.
*****
This cold Jim scared him. Tight. Each mussel was tight on his face, what he could see in his shoulders, clenched hands, arms folded over his too tight chest. The throbbing in his temples, he had to have a headache.
"Hi Jim. Nice to see you too. We had a wrap up after the class." Blair took a deep breath. " Most of the cops wanted to know more about how I survived Being Kidnaped by lash. And how I got grabbed by KINCAID."
A flinch shuddered over Jim's jaw, just visible to someone that knew what to look for.
"And what jewels of wisdom did you dispense to them?" Jim's voice wavered just a hair breath, but Blair could tell that he was having some fear based reaction.
"I told them the truth, as much as I could about what I did. And I told them that the most important thing that you can have in a situation like that was having a partner that you could trust. That could back you up 100%."
It was with an almost tangible sound of crackling, that he could see some of the tension leaving his sentinel body. Shifting slightly, uncomfortable, His eyes never leaving Blair's. Moments passed.
Panther quick, and Sentinel fast Blair found himself pined up agents the bathroom door, Jim's hands on him. His nose and face lost in the nape of his neck, as he held his Guide in a needing owning way.
"But still you were late. And you promised me.... " He just could not say it. Put words to the vague hints and subtle hints of what was (or who) to come this night. "Something tonight."
Blair put his arms around his lover. twisted joy, perverse need. Jim had almost admitted that he wanted him. "It is not too late. I was going to come up, If you would like that. If you want me."
"Right. I let you come up one time, and now you can cum and go any time you want to." Anger all out of proportion filled his face. "Its about time I showed you were your place was."
Jim Dragged the stunned Guide back to his room. The French doors slammed shut what a sound of doom, as Jim pulled Blair un protesting down on the bed, on his lap. Not sure were this was going, hoping that this was just some sort of rough and tumble play, Blair put his arms around his neck, and kissed him. He meant to be gentle, to tease, and give and share and love. To bring sweetness into what had started out bitter. The mouth that clamed him was hard and demanding, the hand behind his head holding still and fast as Jim ravished the full lips, heat and need demanding surrender. No quarter asked or given, he sucked the lower lip into his mouth and bit sucking the so soft sensitive flesh rasping with his front teeth the soft flesh, releasing his Guide only when he collapse weak and shaking with need and lack of oxygen.
Blair was rock hard, naked and as turn on as he had ever been in his life. He could feel Jim's erection pushing up through his thin boxers, working on his naked flesh. He moaned, and pulled his lovers hand down to his leaking cock, begging shamelessly for some sort of release, comfort, connection. All thought of the sensual delights of soft touches and exploration went out the window.
"What do you want me to do?" Controlled. Dam him. He was way too much in control. He needed to unbend just a bit, to enjoy this.
"Do you like my ass Jim? want to do something with my ass?"
Cold stillness. "Do you know what you are asking? You expect me to... You want me to... "
Blair kissed him in response. "I want you to do what ever you like."
With a suddenness that took Blair by surprise, he found him self face down draped over Jim's lap. He tried to look over his shoulder, to see what his Sentinel was up to.
"Be careful what you ask for Chief. You just might get it." A raised hand came down and swatted him on his ass. Blair jerked at the unexpected stinging and pain. "You have been bad Blair. I am going to make you good." He raised his large hand, and it descended for an another swat.
A tear rolled down the Guide face, even as he arched up to accept the punishment. This was SO not what he had wanted. But he accepted it. Any touch was better than no touch. And perhaps there would be comfort some were at the end of it.
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