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by
Blair packed the last of his boxes into his Volvo and sighed. This was the end of the one week stay that had lasted over three years. Jim had become a part of his life, had been his life for so long now that it was a shame to leave. It had to happen this way, his dissertation on the closed society of the PD was done and dusted and his sentinel project was ready if he ever managed to print it. Jim had not zoned in over six months and it was time to move on. Living with a friend who he knew would never be more was causing the Doctor too much pain and there was a new job to be had. Ranier had offered *Doctor* Sandburg an assistant professorship with on campus accommodation thrown in as an incentive. Jim didn't need him hanging around the loft and cramping his style anymore, there were girls out there waiting for the big butch cop and Blair did not want to stand in the way. As long as his best friend was happy he would be happy. Leaving a note on the counter with his set of keys Blair took a final look at the loft that had been his first real home and shut the door behind him. This was for the best. Soon they would both be able to move on and then they could go back to being Sentinel and Guide again.
--------------------------------------------- 2 years later ---------------------------------------------
Blair stared at the photograph that sat on his desk and sighed. It had been taken a few months before he had left the loft for good and pictured the gang on a fishing trip. Simon and Jim were standing either side of Blair in the photo holding up a large fish which the ex-army ranger had caught. Flanked by the two bigger men Blair had been caught with the goofiest grin on his face and yet it seemed to capture the moment for all eternity. Blair moved to pick up the phone and then halted, it had been nearly six months since his last run in with his once best friend and that had been a chance meeting at a Jags game. They had grown apart, no Blair had kept his distance, he corrected himself. Realising he had been in love with his roommate, his very gorgeous and very *male* roommate, had knocked the post-grad for six until he put it down to a sentinel/guide thing. Knowing his feelings were unreciprocated was enough to drive him away from the only place he had known as a home. Better that Jim never know than he discover Blair's dark secret and end up hating him.
In time Jim had discovered that his heightened senses worked without his guide now that he knew how to control them and his new Partner Megan Connor was well equipped to cope if there ever was any problems. Blair had become expendable. It pained him to be with Jim knowing he was not needed so they had grown apart. Simon had told the ex-observer that Jim had begun to date an attractive DA and Blair had thrown himself into his work, soon becoming the youngest tenured professor at Ranier University, the youngest tenured Anthropology Professor in the country. Every morning Blair woke with the pain in his heart that while he woke alone, Jim was with the beautiful Eva Russell and each morning he told himself that this would be the day to call Jim, just because. Each evening Blair realised that he had left the call and that it could wait until another day, Jim was happy and there was all those essays to mark or midterms to grade.
The expedition notice that lay in front of the photograph drew his attention. They were really aiming it at TA's, looking for people to do the grunt work on yet another archaeological/anthropological dig, but Blair thought that maybe it was just the thing that he needed to get James Ellison, Super Cop, off his mind. Picking up the phone he dialled and was surprised when Randall Guttenberg, his old professor answered. A six-month trip to Cancun was arranged and all he had to do was be ready to leave the next day. Blair would call Jim on his return so they could get together, after all there was all the time in the world and his Sentinel of the great City was just around the corner.
--------------------------------------- 6 months later. ---------------------------------------
Blair left the site in Randy's capable hands while he returned to camp. There was an emergency telegram with his name on it and Blair was concerned that it was a message from Naomi. His flake of a mother may well be in serious trouble and her penchant for war zones and crisis centres did little to help the little trust in her that he had left. Blair was surprised to find it was from Simon Banks, Captain of the PD and his second closest friend, the words that appeared on the page struck his heart and the camp postal clerk was shocked to find the researcher collapsed on the floor. Three words that he thought he would never hear, not the three he ever wanted to read.
BLAIR. JIM DIED TODAY. PLEASE RETURN. SIMON.
The telegram was short, the meaning was colossal. Never would he see his friend again, never would he be able to tell him how much he cared. Blair always thought that if there were any words that would destroy them, just three words it would be when he told Jim Ellison "I love you". Yet these were more potent than any declaration of love, a declaration he could never make. Blair made all the arrangements to return to Cascade but did it with little emotion. There was nothing left, he might as well be dead.
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Cascade seemed to have changed little on his return, the streets were not paved with gold and it was the same wet weather that he had left behind for the Mexican heat. The city at least mourned with him, skies crying for the loss of Jim, the city crying for its Sentinel. Blair had sent no word of his return so he continued alone to the place where he lived. There was a pile of mail to contend with and an answer phone full of condolences to hear but the only thing that interested the anthropologist was the funeral invitation. William Ellison had taken care of his son in death better than he had in life. It seemed that despite the lack of attendance by his best friend, Jim had a good send off. Jim had been caught in a drive by shooting, he had been off duty and merely in the wrong place at the wrong time. Blair had heard the details from a concerned neighbour, but was not aware of anything around him. There was a lawyers letter too, Blair was the main beneficiary of the will, with only a stipend leaving a few personal effects to Carolyn and Simon. Blair felt uneased by it all. Jim had cared for him, perhaps more than he showed, more than Blair now would ever know. Silence on both sides of the relationship had stopped anything happening, but maybe one day they would be together. For now, the Guide was alone in the fair city, nothing to do but mourn his vanished friend. As Blair again allowed the tears to flow a strange silence hit Cascade. All that could be heard was the desolate howling of a lone wolf separated from it's pack. A guide torn from his Sentinel.
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