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by
Huh?
Nah, it was just my imagination.
No, wait, it wasn't. The door was opened, and Jim just entered. Hi, big guy...
"Hi, big guy..."
"Blair?"
Yep, that'd be me... Why are you looking at me like that?
"Something wrong?"
He doesn't reply, instead he looks over at... Oh, those. I'd forgotten about the empty bottles of beer and the now empty bottle of tequila lying and standing around on the table. I knew the guy had some liquor stashed away.
"Any particular reason you've made a mess of my livingroom and are lying here, drunk as a skunk, Chief?"
No, no reason, it's just that I'm depressed because you had a date and it wasn't with me, and because I love you and you don't love me, and because I'm gay and you aren't... Date! He had a date! Then why is he home? Alone? Now?
"Where's your date?"
Damn, when did my tongue start curling up when I'm trying to speak?
"Didn't work out," he says with a shrug.
Didn't work out? A date between some chick I have no idea who is and *Jim*? A Jim-date didn't work out? What the hell could be wrong with this girl?
Hey, now what? Why are you lifting me up? Whoa, put me down, put me... No, wait, nice arms, strong arms, nice chest, smelling Jim. Jim smell. It's nice.
"What are you doing?" I mumble.
"Come on, Chief, let's get you into bed."
HUH?
Oh, he meant *my* bed. Why? I don't wanna go to sleep, I wanna stay awake, I wanna kiss Jim.
"I wanna kiss you, Jim."
Some rational part of my brain tells me I really, really shouldn't be saying this, but I can't really see why not?
"You do?"
He's sounding surprised. Why is he surprised? Doesn't he know how much I love him? Doesn't it show?
"Yeah, 'cause I love you, Jim. Lots and lots."
It's true, I love him lots and lots. And I try to make my brain shut up, because why on earth shouldn't Jim know these things? A man needs to know these things, especially when that man is Jim! And the other man is me!
"Are you gay?"
Oh, great, now he's sounding surprised about that too.
"Bisexual. So? Problem?"
"No problem."
Good. He's got no problem with it. Good.
"Do you still want to kiss me?" Jim asks as he places me on my bed. Hm... soft covers. Snuggle into them. Good. Sleep good.
Wait! Still wanna kiss Jim??? Of course I do! What kind of question is that? I always wanna kiss him!
"Yeah."
He smiles. Now the smile is gone. Why is it gone? Oh yeah, my eyes closed. Open eyes, and wow, there's that gorgeous smile again...
"I'll tell you what, Chief, if you really wanna kiss me, I'll let you."
HUH?
"When you're sober."
I'm sober now, right? I'm sober enough to be kissed, that is... I'm also incredibly tired. But I don't wanna sleep! I wanna kiss! I want smoochies! I want Jim smoochies, damnit! Whoa, where'd he go? Oh, eyes closed again, that's why I can't see anymore...
Hm, sleep doesn't really sound so bad after all...
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