Disclaimers:
Summary:
Warnings:
Notes:
|
"
by
Jim Ellison was in one of his most unusual moods: apathy. Being apathetic at home was fine. Well, it wasn't because Blair had noticed it from the start and was giving him hell. But it was being apathetic at work that led to the little and unpleasant talk ending with "But Simon..." "Two weeks off detective! And don't make push it!"
So now Blair had the full time pleasure of probing Jim's mind in search for God knew what? Causes, sure. But where do you start?
There was also the slight problem that Blair the promiscuous bisexual had turned into Blair the monk because no date in this world would tempt him away from the loft at night. He simply didn't trust Jim to be alone. And to be perfectly honest with himself, he enjoyed being with his Sentinel.
Blair felt guilty. He was supposed to help, guide. He wasn't suppose to look at Jim in various stages and nakedness and get an almost permanent hard-on. If he could persuade himself he was merely sexually attracted to Jim, he'd feel slightly less to blame. He had experience in knowing sexual attraction never stays very long. But then again sexual attraction doesn't make you care so much for the person you... love. Wake up in the middle of the night at the slightest noise, because Jim might be needing him. And when Jim really started having trouble sleeping and even more trouble accepting any form of artificial tranquilizers, it was Blair that stayed up with him all night, concocting various herbal teas, slouched on the sofa next to Jim, watching some mindless rerun on cable.
Funnily enough Jim was beginning to appreciate all this care. He was starting to feel that Blair was part of his very small world, the world inside the barriers he had created to protect himself from the outside, where everything was pain, cruelty and memories. Blair was inside. Truly holding his hand, helping him explore, leading the way, showing him that even in the confines of this world there was so much to experience, so much to live.
He felt comfortable around Blair. As never before. He also started to feel he needed Blair, and to his surprise that fact only scared him a little.
Unaware of it, because in all of this budding intimacy words scarcely featured, both men were wondering about love. Whether it was possible between a Sentinel and his Guide, a Guide and his Sentinel. If they could just be themselves where love was concerned. Or if love was off- boundaries for them. They reached their independent conclusions. Which pretty much told tradition to fuck off. Now, this is not what Police Detectives or Anthropologists are supposed to do. Rather the reverse.
The day, the evening, to be more precise, had to come when words would inevitably be necessary.
After five days of this strange mixture of paradise and purgatory, they were just about to burst. Dinner eaten, table cleaned, dishes washed. Pause.
"Chief?"
"Hmm?"
"What's the matter? You've been quiet all through diner, yet I never felt it so strongly.
"Felt what?"
"That you are about to drop some bomb on me? Was it some dumb thing I did? Or forgot to do? Tell me, man. I can handle it."
"I'd rather handle it myself, for the time being."
"So there's something?... Come on Blair, tell me what it is. Please?"
"Damn it man, it shouldn't be so hard for you to guess! ... I can't hide it much longer. I don't want to! ..."
Blair touched Jim's left arm. Jim didn't react, so Blair clasped his hand, and led him gently to the couch. "Let's just sit down, okay? This is hard enough for me. I'm so scared I'll ruin everything."
Jim sat down. Then out of instinct he did the right thing. It often happened. He pulled Blair next to him, ran his fingers to the long curly hair and let him rest his head on his shoulder. Before Blair could say anything. Jim whispered "I love you. I don't know why, and I'm still learning how I'm supposed to deal with it, but... I need you in my life. Here with me. I want your soul, your body..."
"You great big idiot!" Blair was smiling and then they both seemed to melt into an endless all-consuming kiss. "I've been trying to say that. Only I think you put it much better than I ever would have."
"Me? Big clumsy you?"
"My big Jim..." Blair chuckled and threw him the nearest pillow. "Come and get me!"
It wasn't that long a chase. The bedroom had been waiting for two people for very long. It was in a rejoicing, bouncing, noisy mood. Much as its present occupants. Jim just pictured himself sharing this with his hierarchical superior. "You were right Simon, at the fifth day we solved our issues and then we fucked and fucked and fucked each other senseless the other ten days. We're a bit sore, actually. If you could arrange for us to have an extra week to relax..."
Yeah, sure.
Lying next to Blair's naked body, Jim realized he loved him just as much when he was asleep. The same was probably true of Blair's feelings for him. He knew it was.
This was the word they had been avoiding. Now it would never leave.
"Us"
The Sentinel is the property of Pet Fly Productions.
All series, movies and characters are the properties of their respective owners. No infringement of those rights is intended. All fics on this site are the copyrighted property of their respective authors.
Site and design copyright © the other g.m.
All Rights Reserved.
