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Conner:Your idea of comforting a child is placing him in a papoose restraint.
Blair:Not. That is like so harsh.
Jim:I'm with Blair on this one.
Simon:Well, sometimes they need to be restrained. Oh yeah, that was Jim. Not any children.
Jim:Shove it, Simon.
Simon:Into what? I'm not dating right now.
Blair:Mrs. Palm and her five daughters always used to work for me.
Conner:Could we stay on track guys?
Rafe:I would never restrain a child like that and feel good about it.
Brown:I love kids.
Simon:I'm tired, can we go home now?
Blair:No wonder you're not dating.
Simon:Shut up, Sandburg. I'm tired from working all day long.
Jim:I'm tired too, but I still find time for my life.
Simon:Oh please don't tell us about it. Conner, get us the fuck away from this one.
Conner:You believe that " shallow gene pool" is sufficient grounds for arrest.
Jim:Hell yes.
Blair:Agreed.
Simon:Agreed.
Brown:I think I agree.
Rafe:Same here.
Joel:Agreed.
Conner:Oh my god, this is a first. Let's have a big round of applause for the guys of Major Crime.
Simon:If you want us to continue doing this, you best shut up, Conner. C
onner:You believe the government should require extensive testing and permits prior to reproduction.
Blair:Man, Jim and I have discussed this in great detail.
Jim:I couldn't agree more.
Rafe:Same here.
Brown:Another one we agree on.
Joel:I don't like how anyone is allowed to have children.
Simon:Yes, I agree too.
Conner:Oh my god. Another winner. Woo Hoo. We're on a roll, guys. On to thenext one.
Conner:You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, it sure is quiet around here."
Simon:That does happen. Hasn't it happened toanyone besides me?
Joel:It's happened to me on many occasions.
Jim:Same here.
Rafe:You're superstitious.
Brown:No, really it happens.
Blair:It does not. If it's going to be a badnight, it's going to be whether you say that or not. How many times has it happened and you didn't say this?
Jim:Well there is that. Blair:Told ya. Simon:I still believe you're asking for it by saying it.
Rafe:Simon, you're turning into a wuss puss.
Simon:Rafe, don't whine next week when you're pulling double duty.
Rafe:Oh great...
Conner:Your diet consists of food that has gone through more processing than a computer can possibly track.
Jim:I like my food that way.
Blair:You would, Mr. Twinkie Man.
Rafe:Twinkie Man. How cute. Is that because something of his reminds you of a twinkie?
Blair:I've been known to put twinkie cream on me, and let Jim eat if off.
Simon:Gross.
Blair:Rafe started it.
Jim:Chief, they don't need to know that shit.
Brown:Damn, you really do this?
Blair:Way to go Jim.
Jim:What? You said it not me.
Blair:But they thought I was kidding.
Joel:You use twinkie cream? I'd be interested in this.
Conner:So would I.
Simon:Oh god, it's like a cult.
Rafe:They're sick and the sickness is spreading.
Simon:Next week you could have it Rafe.
Rafe:Holy shit.
Conner:So do you think you eat crap because of the long stakeouts and so on?
Jim:Yes.
Blair:Yes.
Simon:Yes.
Rafe:Yes.
Joel:Oh I think so.
Brown:I agree.
Conner:My god another winner. Ding, ding,ding.
Conner:You believe chocolate is a food group.
Jim:It's not?
Blair:I bought you some new chocolate syrup. J
im:goody.
Simon:Couldn't you discuss this stuff when you're alone.
Jim:It just so happens that I needed Chocolate syrup for a recipe for a better than sex cake I was going to make for poker night.
Simon:Oh, in that case, carry on.
Jim:Make it yourself.
Blair:good one, big boy.
Joel: I love chocolate and I think it should be considered a food group.
Conner:I'm going to help break you of that habit.
Blair:Conner, I'll help you.
Jim:We don't need anyone knowing about my chocolate cravings.
Simon:Jesus get on with this one.
Brown:I love chocolate too.
Rafe:I don't. It makes you fat.
Jim:You just have to work out twice as long, dummy. Why give up something as wonderful as that because it's fattening?
Rafe:I'd rather stick with veggies.
Blair:Well, I like veggies too. But I love my dessert. S
imon:Please move on.
Conner:You have contemplated holding a seminar titled "SUICIDE - Getting it Right the First Time."
Simon:Seriously, I think we should have this one.
Jim:I agree.
Blair:Jim, that's a terrible thing to say.
Jim:Chief, if they want to really go, they need to do it right. Look how much money it cost tax payers.
Blair:You're such kind officers.
Rafe:I agree with them.
Blair:You would.
Rafe:Only a wuss wouldn't.
Blair:Then why did Jim agree?
Jim:Fuck you Sandburg.
Blair:Later big boy.
Brown:I don't agree and I don't care if it makes me a wuss.
Blair:We can be wusses together, Brown.
Brown:Then again, you know, it might make for an interesting course.
Joel:I don't agree either and I'll be a wuss with Blair.
Blair:Thanks, Joel.
Conner:Well, you have to admit, it get tiring of helping these folks over and overagain.
Joel:Maybe we're not helping them right.
Simon:Lets move on before I start giving a lecture.
Conner:You believe that "Too stupid to live" is a valid verdict.
Simon:Boy do I agree with this one.
Blair:Now this one I have to agree with too.
Simon:Wait a minute, this doesn't sound like our Sandburg.
Blair:I'm getting mean and cruel like the rest of you. What can I say?
Rafe:I agree with this one, also.
Brown:I've often wanted to use this line.
Joel:I have to, Henry.
Jim:I have used this line a few times to scare them. It works.
Simon:I didn't hear that.
Joel:Ellison, you're too much.
Blair:No, he's just enough.
Simon:Oh god, please move it before they get started.
Conner:You have to put the phone down before you begin laughing uncontrollably.
Rafe:Now I seem to remember that we got a call one night from Sandburg and Ellison'sneighbors. We had to set the phone downwhile we laughed.
Brown:God, I almost forgot about that.
Conner:That was a hoot, wasn't it? Joel:What are you talking about?
Rafe:We like to call it the Screamer stories.
Simon:We like to tell these at parties.
Jim:Nice to know that our lives give you such pleasure.
imon:Hell yes, and no doubt from the phone call, you get much pleasure too.
Brown:Good, one, Simon.
Rafe:We'll tell you later on, Joel.
Joel:Goody.
Conner:You're going to love it.
Blair:This is past embarrassing. J
im:I told you we should move to another city, but noooooooooo you said we'd befine here.
Conner:You think caffeine should be available in IV form.
Jim:I want this to be sooooo true.
Blair:Tell me about it, I have to have my coffee intake day and night.
Simon:I have to agree on this one.
Joel:Same here.
Brown:I like the idea also.
Rafe:Agreement all around. C
onner:Will wonders never cease?
Conner:Your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion.
Jim:This sounds about right to me.
Blair:This is right. S
imon:How true.
Rafe:Agree.
Joel:I couldn't agree more.
Brown:Yup, I have to say this is a no brainer.
Conner:Guys, things are looking up.
Simon:We get to go home?
Conner:No. We're almost done though.
Simon:So get busy.
Conner: When you mention "vegetables," you are not referring to the food group.
Jim:I call a lot of our perp's vegetables.
Blair:He does. I don't.
Simon:You should. I do too.
Joel:I often call them this.
Brown:I've never said this.
Rafe:Oh Henry, you're so sweet and naïve.
Blair:Don't pick on him cuz he's not as shitty as you.
Brown:Thanks, Blair, but I don't need you sticking up for you.
Blair:Actually I just wanted to say something to Rafe. This gave me a reason.
Brown:In that case, carry on.
Rafe:Fuck both of ya.
Blair:Wow, he's thinking he's got a lot of stamina.
Rafe:Ewwww.
Simon:Could we move on?
Conner: It occurs to you one night that you really have entered, "The Twilight Zone."
Simon:This occurs to me each and every day I have to bear witness to Ellison and Sandburg.
Jim:You're just jealous.
Blair:Yeah, what he said.
Jim:Good come back, Blair.
Blair:I'm saving all my energy and thought for us later.
Jim:Oh goody.
Simon:See this is what I meant.
Joel:I for one love that zone.
Jim:Thanks, Joel. B
lair:Yeah, we love the Megan and Joel zone too.
Brown:I think this about perp's but I rarely think it about Ellison andSandburg.
Rafe:I think it every time I look at them.
Jim:Perp's or us?
Rafe:Both.
Simon:Okay, time to move on.
Conner: You are told to deliver a packaged human body part and you find yourself talking to it in the car on the way to the lab.
Simon:I just want to know right off, if this has ever happened to anyone. Because if it has, we need to get you some help.
Blair:Never happened to me.
Jim:Me either.
Rafe:I've never had to deliver anything, so I wouldn't know.
Blair:Well what do you think the chances of it happening are?
Rafe:None.
Blair:Now was that so hard?
Rafe:I'll show you hard.
Simon:Sit back down Jim.
Rafe shut yourfucking mouth.
Rafe:I meant my fist.
Blair:Jim, you're my man. God I love when you're possessive.
Joel:I've never talked to a body part that was in the car with us. Ewwww.
Conner: You are the only person introduced byprofession at a social gathering.
Simon:This is so true.
Jim:You can say that again.
Simon:This is so true.
Jim:Very funny, Simon.
Blair:I agree with this one, also.
Joel:Me too
Rafe:Me too
Brown:Wow, total agreement again. Conner, Ithink that makes like three of them now.
Conner:I know, it's like an all time record high.
Simon:Are we done?
Conner:Yup, we're done. Night all.
Joel:Night everyone.
Jim:Night, guys and Conner.
Rafe:See ya on Friday night for poker.
Brown:Night guys.
Simon:Finally, I'm exhausted.
Jim:Night John boy.
Blair:Night Mom.
Jim:Jim Bob.
Blair:Night Grampa.
Jim:Night Billy Bob.
Simon:That wasn't one of them.
Blair:Shit, he did used to watch it. Jim said he'd make you say that and I told him you weren't the type to watch that show.
Simon:Go home and leave this poor old tired man alone.
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