Disclaimers:
Summary:
Warnings:
Notes:
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by
( // = thought) (>
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//HOW in the hell had things gone SO wrong?!?!? Especially when things had been going SO right.//
Blair sat on the floor of his room in the lotus position, eyes closed, head back, wrists resting on his knees, slowly rocking back and forth. He hadn't even noticed the tears sliding down the side of his face, he was so concentrated on the fact that his heart felt like it was about to burst if he couldn't stop it from trying to beat it's way through his chest.
He tried to pin point of the exact moment his life turned upside-down .
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A few hours earlier :
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Blair had stayed home today because he had a lot of paper work to do and with all the students that kept showing up at his office he could never get more than a few papers done, so he decided to 'hide' at the loft to get it all done.
Plus, the cable repair man has finally shown up to install the new box that they had ordered. Now they got about 5 more Sports channels, //The guys will love that!// and a second remote. Which he had decided to hide from Jim, just to see how long it took him to figure out 'why' the channels kept changing. Blair smile with an evil grin, //THAT part will be FUN!//
Jim would be home soon with supper since neither of them really had the time or energy to cook. Both of them had been having nightmares and the subsequent insomnia that followed while 'trying' to avoid the bad dreams.
Blair's only problem was that he wasn't really having 'BAD' dreams or 'nightmares', but he was defiantly waking up breathing hard and all hot and bothered !!!
//How the heck do you tell you're 'straight as an arrow', muscle bound, military trained, covert Op, could kill you with a look, best friend who's a Sentinel /cop, that every time you close you're eyes , all you can dream about is being in bed with him.?//
Blair laughed to himself and spoke out loud to the empty room, "Well, thats not true. In bed, on the couch, on the floor, on the table, on the stairs, JEEZ I got it bad!" He rubbed his hands across his face to try to stop the images from invading his mind...again.
The only piece of mind he had was the fact that Jim couldn't hear him at night any more, since he got another white noise generator. Other wise he knew he would have been screwed, since he had a REALLY bad habit of talking in his sleep. To him, sleep was just a deep state of mind-freeing meditation, and if someone tried to talk to him while he was asleep, he'd say 'EXACTLY' what was on his mind, no holds barred! Thankfully, Jim would sent him to bed if he fell asleep on the couch, or he'd be in real trouble.
The key in the door lock announced Jim's arrival and Blair quickly hid the remote and started to clean up his papers to make room for supper, smiling all the while.
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~~~ An hour earlier
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Supper, was the basic same-ole', same-ole'. Chat about school, chat about Jim's current case, chat about the Sentinel stuff, try to get Jim to allow a few more tests, //Yeah, right//, Then end up on the couch to watch the boob tube.
Blair smiled again from his end of the couch, cautiously monitoring his breathing and heart rate, //Don't want to give away what I'm doing or Jim will know the second my heart rate rises.//. Easing the second remote out of his pocket //Thank God it fits in the palm of my hand or I could never hide it.// hiding the remote under his right side for easy access, he watched Jim flip through the channels and waited for an opportunity.
He didn't have long to wait. Jim had just found a channel to watch and was putting down the remote and grabbing for his beer when Blair hit the 'LAST' button on the hidden remote, returning the t.v. to the last channel before the one Jim chose.
"Oops, must have hit the button a second time by accident." Jim laughed as he picked up his remote and hit the 'LAST' button , returning it to the one he wanted.
//Breathe Blair, BREATHE!!! Don't think about his smile or you'll lose it!//
Jim's remote was just about set on the table again when he hit the button again.
"What The...?" Jim glared at his remote.
"Maybe the batteries are dying again , Jim. That happened last time remember?" He smiled, trying to keep the laughter out of his voice.
Jim grabbed the remote and got up off the couch and went into the kitchen to get new batteries. Mumbling the whole time. "What? Come on Jim, I don't have you're ears remember?" "I SAID, I just changed the damn batteries two weeks ago." Slightly annoyed that he had to repeat himself, he snapped the remote,(With new batteries) closed and aimed it at the t.v. to change the channel back.
A brief flash of movement in the reflection of the t.v. caught his eye and he focused on it just before the t.v. changed channels again all by it's self. A smile struck is face as he ,once again put the channel where he wanted it, and it 'mysteriously' changed again. Only this time, with it eyes trained on the reflection in the t.v., he could clearly see what Blair was doing. //OH, you are 'SO' dead now, junior!//
Tucking the remote in his back pocket before Jim could return to the couch, he decided that he could play this game a few days at best.
"The t.v's messed up again. I thought the cable guy was supposed to come by today, maybe I should call them." Jim said as calmly as possible, trying really hard NOT to give Blair away.
//Uh, Oh!! I think I'm in trouble.// Too late did he realize that he forgot to maintain his breathing and heart rate. Peeking out of the corner of his eye he watched as Jim casually sat on the other end of the couch. He knew the second Jim heard his heart rate spike, because when Jim slowly turned to look at him, he had a very evil grin on his face, as he look Blair straight in the eyes.
"OH, Shit!!!" Blair practically screamed and the tried to scramble off the couch to go hide in his room. He didn't get two feet before he was grabbed from behind and tossed back onto the couch, immediately followed by one very heavy Sentinel.
"Oh, no you don't junior. You're gonna PAY!!!" He laughed.
Blair was still trying to catch his breath and to get over the fact that the man he has been dreaming about, was now laying on top of him on the couch.
//God, help me, Cause I've died and gone to heaven! Shit, keep you're mind out of the gutter Sandburg or he'll snap you in two. Breathe Damn it!//
It didn't take very long for the tickling to start. Jim had pinned his arms over his head with one hand and was mercilessly tickling his sides and stomach.
Laughing and begging and apologizing, Blair was thankful that he had a legitimate reason to be breathing heavy, but was starting to get nervous because he was starting to get seriously turned on by being pinned helplessly under Jim, his hands touching his skin.
"Jim, STOP,(hic) PLEASE, I'm sorry, (gasp)I'll never do it again, (groan)Please, No don't, ACK! No,(gasp) I'm SORRY, JIM! NOOOOO! (choke) PLLLEEEEASSSSSEE!!!!!" He whimpered as he twisted and turned to get away from Jim's hands, to get away from Jim.
"I'll teach you to mess with a Sentinel. Now WHERE did you hide the other remote, huh?"
//OH,GOD! NO! PLEASE, don't let him look for it himself. I swear I'll die!//
Jim had effectively pinned Blair between his legs as he straddled his upper thighs, and sat up to look around for the remote.
"I'll get it for you Jim, Just let me up, I'll give it to you, I swear! Just let me go." Blair panted. Thankfully the tickling had stopped, but the evidence as to WHY he was still breathing hard was starting to make is jeans very uncomfortable.
"I don't think so, Chief. Where is it?" He was still smiling but just for a second he monitored Blair's heart rate because it was still going fast, but dismissed it.
"Fine, it's in my back pocket, Just let me up and I'll give it to you." Still breathing heavy, he was starting to wonder if he was going to have a panic attack on top of everything else.
"Nice try Darwin." He said and he pulled Blair in to a sitting position and reached around to slide his hand into Blair's back pocket and grabbed the remote and pulled it free.
It took every ounce of his strength NOT to groan out loud, when Jim pulled him forward, wrapped his arm around him and slipped his warm hand into his back pocket. Gritting his teeth, he closed his eyes so that his emotions wouldn't be read in his eyes, there was just NO way Jim wouldn't see what was clearly written there. //Concentrate on breathing, nothing else.//
This time it was impossible to dismiss the spike in his breathing and heart rate, and he pulled to look into Blair's face only to see that he had his eyes closed. //What The ...?// Blair was obviously trying very heard to control his breathing and that started to worry him.
"Blair?"
"Let go." His words were calm and even. //Good, thats it, just keep calm.//
"Blair, what's wrong with you? Look at me." He released Blair's hands, tossed the remote on the couch and cupped his face with both hands.
Blair's heart rate spiked through the roof again and Jim took note of it.
"Chief, open you're eyes. Look at me. Blair... You're scaring me here, Chief."
Blair slowly reached up and pulled Jim's hands off the sides of his face then placed a hand on his chest and slowly but firmly pushed him away from him.
This time Jim noticed exactly when Blair's heart spiked again. It was when his hands had touched Blair's face, and when Blair's hand made full contact with his chest. Backing off, he stood up and moved a few steps away from the couch and watch what Blair would do next. It didn't take long. //Ok, he's off me. Now all I have to do is make a run for my room. Gutta open you're eyes first dummy. Just don't look up, what ever you do DON'T look at him!//
Jim could see Blair tense up before he moved. He slowly opened his eye but kept them trained on the floor, except to briefly look at the door to his room. //There is NO way I'm letting him make a break for his room with out finding out what the HELL is going on here!!!!// His own body tensed, ready for action.
//Ok, Blair, you can make it, here we go. Ready, three.. two.. one.. GO!//
Blair sprang from the couch and headed straight for his room, only to be grabbed from behind for the second time that night and spun around. The brief shock of being grabbed was enough to keep him mind from reminding him not to look at Jim, and he did just that.
The look in Blair's eyes was enough to cause Jim to let him go, and he tore away from him and ran into his room. The first thing he did was to turn on the white noise generator, efficiently blocking Jim from trying to scan his Guide in any way.
//What the HELL??? His eyes are dilated, And what is that smell? Oh, God. Pheromones...from Blair??? // He groaned as he sank to the couch with his head in his hands. The sounds of a thunder and lightning storm registering in his mind. He had been so tuned in to Blair, that he didn't even hear or smell the storm approach.
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~~~ Twenty minutes ago:
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When he entered his room, he turned on the generator then started lighting candles and incense. Stripping down to his boxers, he then turned off the lights and sat down on the floor. Trying to slow his breathing and heart rate.
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~~~ Present:
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Jim still sat on the couch. //Maybe I should tell him about my dreams. Maybe I should tell him that I keep dreaming that he going to leave. That the thought of that is killing me. Why does it bother me so much? Why does it actually *hurt*? //
Suddenly everything went dark and it took Jim a minute to realize that they had just lost power.
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Shuddering as he expelled a long breath, Blair lowered his head. It had never taken him this long to relax. He had calmed his breathing and heart rate but he couldn't relax. It only used to take him five minutes MAX, but over the past few weeks it had been taking longer and longer. Now he just couldn't relax at all.
He never noticed when the power went out.
Getting up off the floor he laid down on the bed and curled up into a ball. // I can't do this any more.// Slipping into old habit, he started talking out loud knowing that the white noise generator would cover his talking from his Sentinel. Still not knowing that the power went out, and along with it... the generator.
"I just can't do this any more, I can't stay here any more... It's tearing me apart. How can I live here and hide me feelings. I can't. Oh, God Jim! How can I stay hear knowing I love you, that I have for two years, that I want you so badly, how can I stay?" He sobbed as he closed his eyes.
"I'm destroying our friendship and you have no idea why. If I stay here any longer there wont be any friendship left to salvage, not enough to pretend that it's just friendship that I'm feeling for you. Man, the guys at the station already guessed about it. How could you not hear them talking about it when I have, you're the Sentinel. I can't... Oh GOD this hurts!" Blair groaned. " I can't let you be destroyed by rumors, even if I want them to be true. I have to go, I'll stay at my office till I find a place. //Someone help me, please.// This feels like I'm dying inside. Jim.... I'm so sorry. I'll love you forever, forgive me. I'm failing you, my Sentinel. Forgive me for having to leave, forgive me for loving you . God, forgive me,... Please." He cried again, as the stress and exhaustion from the past few weeks finally won out and a deep sleep claimed him.
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Jim stood just outside Blair's bedroom door, holding onto the frame for support, the utter look of shock on his face intensified by the tears sliding down his cheeks from the pain and hurt. // He CAN'T leave me ! He CAN'T!//
>Then don't let him.
Jim spun around when the unidentifiable voice went through his mind, and came face to face with his spirit guide.... And the jungle //What the HELL....!//
Jim watched as his spirit guide morphed into the form of Incacha, only then noticing the form of a wolf lying next to Blair's door, and it didn't look very healthy.
>You are going to lose you're Guide, Sentinel. You have a choice to make.
//What choice do I have to make, I can't lose him.//
>Do nothing, and lose him, Or choose to keep him, But you must choose now, you will get no more warnings since you ignored the others.
Jim thought about Incacha's last sentence for a moment before realization hit him.
//The dreams! Those were warnings to let me know that there was something wrong with my Guide. Why is this happening?//
>The path of the Sentinel and Guide are the same, one protecting the other, one mind, one heart, one soul. There is you're path Sentinel, what do you see?
Jim turned and looked to the path in the jungle and saw two sets of foot prints close together in the sand heading forward in a straight line, but using his Sentinel sight he could see that one set of prints was slowly moving apart from the other further down the path.
//I don't understand, what does this mean, why is he moving away from me?//
>Do you STILL not understand, Sentinel? There should only be ONE set of foot prints on the path to begin with, The Sentinel / Guide Bond has never been completed, both halves of the whole have yet to join fully. I have told you, a Sentinel and Guide are one. Look down another path, what do you see of other Sentinels and Guides of the past?
Looking down a few of the other paths he could see a few like his, except once the second set of prints moved far enough away they stopped, And the first set went only a step or two more and then also stopped and went no further. Many other paths started out with two sets and ended as one, and only three very old over grown paths actually started with only one set of prints.
> In all of the time of Sentinels and Guides there have only been five male/female pairs, all of the others were male. Can you not feel what is in you're heart?
//What will happen if I do nothing? I need to know.//
>If you do nothing, his soul and yours will die. No one can love with only half a soul. The body can live, but with only half a soul, there is no life. Choose, Sentinel. Choose Now.
//There never really was a decision to make, I can't live without him, I don't want to live without him. He's my other half, he completes me. And I,... I love him.//
Incacha smiled and the wolf by the door wagged it's tail slightly, but never raised it's head.
>You must understand sentinel, you are soul mates, but you are not soul mates because you are sentinel and guide, you are sentinel and guide because your are soul mates.
He'd actually said it, in his mind anyway, but it was true. It had been more of a shock to hear Blair say that he was going to leave, than that he loved him. He loved Blair, and Blair Loved HIM!!!
>Go Sentinel, walk the path of your destiny.
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Lightning flashed overhead blinding him for a second. When his sight returned he was standing in the dark loft once again.
Quickly stripping down to his boxers, he crept into his Guides room.
Blair was lying on the bed on his back, his left hand out stretched towards him and his right hand above his hand palm up, his face turned away from the door.
Monitoring his Guides state of sleep, he quietly eased onto the small bed. Using his body to trap Blair's outstretched arm under him and firmly (but not enough to wake him) grasped Blair's right wrist. All Blair would have to do is close his right hand and he would be holding Jim's wrist.
Sliding his left knee between Blair's legs, he completed his minor mission of getting into the bed and making it impossible for his Guide to flee , without waking him.
Blair moaned and turned in towards his body. Waking slightly, opening and closing his eyes for a brief second, Blair smiled and murmured his name before drifting off again. "Jim." It almost sounded like a sigh.
The smile that stayed on Blair's lips was too much to take and all of his senses wanted input all at once. Ignoring the others for a moment, he started with smell, and leaned in to smell Blair's hair.
//Damn, if he doesn't smell like heaven I don't know what does.//
Smiling, he moved on to 'Touch', and slowly brought his free hand up to run it through Blair's hair, causing the Guide to slightly come out of his deep sleep.
Jim turned up the dial for touch as much as he dared and ran one finger down the side of Blair's face, across his jaw line, down the side of his neck, across his shoulder, and down his side before the slight stimulation was enough to pull the young Guide to full wakefulness.
Jim smiled as he heard Blairs heart rate increase. Refusing to look into his eyes, he let the tips of his fingers continue to map the surface of Blair's body, coming very close to, but avoiding the erogenous zones.
//Well that worked, lets just see what I can do to increase his heart rate some more.//
Jim smiled at the thought of being the cause of Blair's heart fluctuations.
Blairs entire body was a mass of goose bumps, and it was taking him forever to find his tongue. Something was DEFINETLY wrong with Jim. //Oh, God, He's touching me!// It was getting harder to concentrate, let a long breathe. //Gutta talk, need to find out what's wrong with Jim. (Gasp) His fingers are driving me crazy! Maybe this is some weird zone out, maybe his touch has gone haywire.//
"Jim....., come on man, talk to me. Jim. You hear me.... Come on back, big guy....."
Jim smiled again and heard and felt Blair catch is breath in his throat. // He's got his mouth working again. He's babbling. He thinks I'm in a zone, good, I can work with that for a while.//
Blair had started to try to pull away only to find that he was effectively pinned half way under his partner. //Partner. Ooh, I didn't think that. Ok, focus on the problem at hand, Figure out what's wrong with your Sentinel before you end up in REALLY big (Oh, God, don't go there!) trouble!// It took him a few minutes to realize that he was holding Jim's wrist in a death grip and relaxed his hand.
Jim kept trailing his fingers over the same path over and over, each time coming closed and closer to his goals, Blair's arousal was getting quite obvious and his speech was becoming impaired.
"JIM!(gasp) Wake Up Man! Please, JIM!(Pant, pant) Come On Buddy. (Holding his breath for a second) Snap out of ... ! JIM, You Gutta WAKE UP! (Gulping for air) You Gutta STO...." His babbling was cut off.
Jim had decided that 'Touch' was having far too much fun, and that it was time to let 'Taste' have a go at it and pinned Blair to the bed with a soul searing kiss. Invading his Guides mouth with his tongue, he realized , as the taste of his guide exploded into his mouth, that the torture he had been inflicting on his Guide had a side effect and he didn't want to play games any more. He wanted his Guide... NOW, totally, forever.
Blair groaned as Jim released him from the mind shattering kiss so that they could breathe. When he finally opened his eyes Jim was looking directly at him, into his very soul. Taking a few breaths, he asked " Jim, are you ok? Please say something. Jim, come one man, wake up. You need to let go of me."
"NO." Jim said, still trying to control his own breathing and raging hormones.
"What?" Blair looked at him, shock written on his face as he struggled against Jim's grip again. "Jim, let me go."
"I said, No. Not now, not ever. Your mine."
Jim smiled just before he claimed his mouth again for a kiss and felt Blair relax under him for the first time since he woke up, and groaned when Blair's left hand slid up his back pulling him even closer.
Jim released Blair's right wrist and allowed their hands to wander without constraint, and groaned again as Blair tried to shift his body and rubbed up against him accidentally.
Breaking the kiss so that they could breathe, both panting heavily, Jim nuzzled and nipped at Blair's neck and earring.
Blair's mind was slowly starting to register that things weren't quite right. //Why was Jim in his bed...why now?//
"Jim?"
Jim smiled// Doesn't he ever shut up, although shutting him up is SOOOOOO fun!//
"Yeah, Chief?"
"Jim, why...Umm, I mean..., How..., When did...Oh, God."
He gave a slight tug on Blair's earring with his teeth before he leaned up and looked into his eyes.
"Blair, there's only one problem with a white noise generator. Care to guess what that is?"
Blair just shook his head, his heart was thumping to strongly in his throat to speak.
"They don't seem to work very well when we lose power."
Blair's heart rate and breathing that had held some semblance of normalcy , shot off the Rhictor scale.
The anxiety attack hit Blair hard, and after a few attempts to talk him out of his anxiety and getting no where, he could only think of one other thing that might work.
Leaning forward to capture Blair's lips in a series of little kiss, he slipped his hand into his boxers and wrapped his fingers around Blair's erection.
There were little stars swimming in front of his eyes as he was gasping for breath.
//He heard everything I said. He says it's ok, to calm down. Why can't I calm down. Why can't I ..... He's kissing me again. His mouth is so soft an.... Oh, Goddess above, I can't believe what he's doing to me!!!//
Racking his brain to try to figure out why Jim was in his bed doing everything he had ever dreamed, the answer finally hit him. //He doesn't want me to leave. This is some sort of Sentinel reaction or imperative to keep me with him, by his side at any cost. A Fail Safe. He doesn't really WANT to do this, he can't..., Jim wouldn't want this. There were no signs that he would ever..., No, I can't let this happen this way, I wont!//
His breathing had changed and he wasn't hyperventilating any more. Jim released him from the kiss and decided to nibble at his neck again.
As calmly as possible, he spoke to Jim while relaxing his body. He couldn't afford to give anything away.
"Jim, let me go. You don't really want to do this. It's just some sort of Sentinel fail safe reaction so that you don't lose you're Guide."
Blair was starting to push at Jim's chest with his free hand.
"I won't leave you high and dry, man. I just can't live here anymore. Jim, Please stop, let me go."
Jim wasn't paying attention to Blair's babbling. He was too busy nibbling on his neck and deciding what path to take as he slowly kissed his way closer to the hardness that he had enveloped with his hand. Somewhere at the back of his brain there was the smallest trace of recognition that Blair was pushing him away. Once again ... he should have listened.
Blair knew that he wasn't being heard, and it hurt to have proof that on some level, Jim didn't know what he was really doing. Bracing his foot against the wall and his hand on Jim's chest, he took a deep breath , arched off the bed and pushed.
The shock of being shoved so hard had caused him to release Blair in favor to trying to regain balance. The next thing Jim knew was that he was now laying on the floor on his back, as Blair scrambled off the bed and over him to get out the door.
Blair had been able to use the wall as his brace as he arched off the bed and pushed Jim over the side of the small bed. // He's gonna be pissed the second he realizes what you just did, Move, Sandburg. MOVE!!!//
Jim had sprung into action the second Blair leaped over him and landed by the door. // Why do I get the feeling that I missed something important again.//
He had made it to the door before he heard Jim make any kind of movement, and he even made it past the kitchen Island before strong arms came around his waist and chest and stop him from going any further.
It didn't take much to over take his runaway Guide and pin him to his chest with his arms. //DAMN, he's stronger than he looks!// Blair was still struggling and he had almost toppled them both onto the kitchen floor.
"Let me GO!" Blair struggled to get away from Jim. His emotions couldn't take this kind of torture any more, and he was starting to get angry.
"Just where do you think you're going in you're boxers at this time of night Chief?"
"Let me go, Jim. Get off me. What you are feeling right now isn't real, it's not. You would never.., You don't know what you're doing Jim. You don't really love me. Please. LET.ME.GO!"
This time his struggles managed to get both of them slammed up against a wall, except Jim hit the kitchen wall and Blair hit a muscled wall named JIM. The combination of being hit from both sides was enough to knock the air out of Jim, causing him to slacken his hold slightly. It was just enough, and Blair was able to pull away heading for the door at full speed.
Jim was able to reach him before he could get the locks on the door open and decided to take drastic measures. //He doesn't think I love him. Oh Chief, I love you so much, too much to let your stubbornness get in our way, I refuse to let you die ! Not without me, anyway.//
Slipping his right arm around Blairs neck he slowly walked both of them backwards until he was leaning against the kitchen island for support.
Blair was breathing hard and struggling again, with both hands he was trying to break Jim's grip. He was still able to get air but not near enough as he would have liked.
"I'm sorry Blair, I hope you will forgive me for this." Jim slid his left hand to the side of Blair's neck and searched for the nerve at the juncture of the shoulder and neck.
//Oh, God. What's he going to do to me?//
Blair stopped struggling, suddenly he knew what Jim was going to do. Especially since he was the idiot who told Jim about the pressure points in great detail. Jim had been very interested in the subject, and at the time he was just happy to have Jim's full attention. //Hind sight SUCKS!//
"Jim, Nnn..." Blair's protest died on his lips as he felt Jim find the correct nerve and apply pressure. The room swam before his eyes and he blinked to try to make it stop, but it didn't matter any more as his body gave in and relaxed. The last thing he saw was the black Jaguar guarding the front door, then everything went black.
Jim felt Blair tense up and become still seconds before he found what he was looking for. Pressing hard on the nerve in Blair's neck, he felt him slowly relax.
Blairs head fell forward and his hands fell away from Jim's arm as his knees suddenly buckled under his weight.
Jim held the limp body of his Guide close to him, lifted him into an easier position to carry him in and headed up the stairs to his own bedroom, with a much bigger bed.
"I'll make you believe that I love you Chief. I'll prove to you that I do, I promise."
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Placing Blair on the bed, he rolled him onto his belly. Taking the belt off his robe he looped it under Blairs arms, tied it in a knot and rolled him back over. The cloth belt effectively pinned Blairs arms to his sides only allowing range of motion from the elbows down. To get it off all Blair would have to do is sit up and let it slide down his arms. That was of course *IF* Jim allowed him to sit up.
Stripping off Blair's boxers as well as his own, he climbed into the bed once again pinning his Guide to the bed with his body. Slowly he allowed his fingers to trail the path across Blair's body that they had found only a few short minutes ago. Leaning in to place small kisses on his neck and shoulder as he waited for Blair to regain consciousness.
He didn't have long to wait.
Blair awoke slightly disoriented and looked around the room before trying to get up, only to find himself physically restrained. His memory came crashing back to him and he started to struggle again.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooo..." He was panicking and cried out as he tried to move his trapped arms.
"Blair," Jim murmured between kisses.
Not getting a response or a cessation to Blair's struggles, Jim lean up from kissing his neck , cupping the side of his face with his hand and looked him right in the eyes, hoping Blair could see the love reflected in his own eyes.
"Blair..., Let me love you." He whispered, his face inches away from Blair's.
Blair froze at his words, as blue eyes starred into blue eyes. His heart and his head warring within him as his chest heaved from exertion.
A tear slid down the side of his face back towards his hair, he couldn't fight anymore. If what he saw in Jim's eyes were true..., but could he believe it? If only he was able to have what he dreamt of, it was worth giving in, even if it wasn't true,...? //Yes.// He slowly relaxed his body and gave in.
If it wasn't for his Sentinel hearing he never would have heard Blair's breathless reply.
"Yes."
Kissing him again was an absolute joy, he tasted like...Blair. He kissed him until he felt all resistance leave Blair's body and he hungrily returned Jim's kisses.
"My Blair!" He breathed softly against his lips.
Jim started working his way down Blair's neck and chest with little nip's and kisses, enjoying every little gasp, moan and shiver. That Blair could produce.
Blair was holding onto the bed sheets for dear life, eyes closed, his mouth partially opened as he panted and gasped for breath.
//If this is one of my dreams, PLEASE don't let me wake up!//
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~~~Twenty Minutes Later
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Blair's entire body was shaking , and sweat was pouring off his body, his breathing coming hard and fast. Jim had repeatedly brought him so close to the edge and back again, that he thought he would spontaneously combust !!!
Jim was hovered over Blair in just about the same condition , with barely a shred of control left. Looking down into Blair's passion filled, half closed eyes, he poured out his soul.
"Blair.... I love you.(pant) Hearing what you said, it just made me realize the truth. If you still need to leave, I...I'll let you go, But don't be surprised if I follow you. It would kill me not to be with you. I love you."
//I love you Chief. Please believe me.// Jim's voice cried out in his head.
Leaning down to kiss Blair again, the last bit of his control was torn to shreds as he heard Blairs whisper soft reply against his lips.
"I do believe you, Jim."
It wouldn't occur to Jim for quite a while that Blair had actually heard what he had *thought* more than what he had *said*.
Leaning forward to kiss Blair, he sliding his arms under him and rolled them over so that Blair was on top. Easing Blair away from their kiss, he pushed him to a sitting position and slid his hands down Blair's arms to help slide the cloth belt off him. They were still panting hard as Blair placed both his hands on Jim's chest, now free to move unrestricted he looked into Jim's eyes...and into his soul.
//It's up to you know Chief, I can't force you to stay with me. I wish Incacha had told me what he did sooner. Neither of us would have fought this as hard, we could have already been complete,...whole. God, I love you Chief!//
Jim watched as the look on Blairs face went through several changes, Love, Trust, confusion, and then... A really beautiful shit eating grin. //What's with that?//
Blair started to smile as things started to click in his mind, and what he could now hear made him smile even wider.
"Tell me Jim,...Just what *did* Incacha say?'' He asked as he smiled again, this time the smile reflected in his eyes.
"He said that,....What? ... How did? What's going on?" //Blair heard me?//
Blair leaned forward and kissed Jim until he had to come up for air.
"Tell me what he said and I'll tell you what's going on."
Jim reached up and cupped the side of Blairs face with one hand and the back of his head with the other, burying his fingers into the silky hair.
"He said, that we are soul mates, but we are not soul mates because we are sentinel and guide, we are sentinel and guide because we are soul mates. That we share one mind, one heart, one soul. What we feel for each other isn't because of some Sentinel/Guide imperative Blair. It was always a matter of the heart, of *our* soul. We were always meant to be together." Jim smiled then thought to himself, // Now, tell me why you can hear what I'm thinking? Not that I mind. I love you ya' know.//
Blair smiled again before speaking and gave him another kiss.
"I can hear you because we are finally making the connection, like Incacha said,one heart, one mind, one soul. It's the other end of the bond falling into place. Now we can both hear each other when we are separated. You can hear my voice and I can hear your mind, but I think it's only when your thinking of me or at me, I don't have all the information on it yet though. And yes, I *do* know. Does that answer your question?"
Jim had to think his answer since his mouth was suddenly being ravished, but he really didn't mind, as Blair pinned his hands above his head and finished what *he* had started.
//Oh, Yeah!!!//
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~~~The next morning
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Thankfully Jim didn't have to be into work until after 2pm. Neither of them had even *thought* of stopping until they were both sufficiently sated, and Jim had found out the hard way that Blair could give just as good as he got. They had bonded, completely, thoroughly, happily, lovingly,...eternally. (And neither of them would be able to walk right for at least a week!)
Jim was awake and was watching Blair as he slept, cushioned on top of him with his head resting on Jim's chest. Jim wrapped his arms around Blair and smiled.
//I love you, Blair.//
He felt Blair smile against his chest, and then nearly jumped at the response.
//I love you too.//
~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~~~~
An unheard comment about hiding a tv remote sparked a slight giggle and the answering chuckle that followed prompted a tickle fight, which in turn led to other things that would ensure that neither of them would be able to get out of bed let alone even *THINK* about trying to walk.
Time to use up some of those sick days.
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~~~The spirit plain jungle
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The Wolf and the Jaguar playfully ran down their chosen path,... leaving only one set of prints.
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