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by
Darien sighed heavily. The past few days had been long ones. The Agency had gotten a tip off from a contact that Arnaud de Fohn would be in the area. Fortunately the source had been more reliable than Yuri had been. They almost caught Arnaud. They had been so close, but he had once again evaded capture. The price of Arnaud's escape had almost been Darien's life. It it hadn't been for Hobbes, he'd be dead right now.
Hobbes glanced over at his unusually silent partner. "You alright, Fawkes?"
"Yeah. I was just thinking," Darien replied quietly.
"About what happened out there today?"
"Yeah, and I was just thinking about some other things."
Hobbes pulled off to the curb infront of Darien's apartment complex. "Anything you want to talk about?"
"No, I'm fine. Thanks for the ride, Hobbes. I'll see ya tomorrow," Darien said as he got out of the van.
"You sure you're okay?"
Darien stood by the door for a moment debating whether or not he really wanted to tell Hobbes what was on his mind. "Actually, there's something I think we need to talk about."
"I'm here, Fawkes. I'll listen to whatever you need to say."
"Not now. How about your place around seven?"
"Sure, I'll be there, partner."
"'Kay. I'll see ya then." Darien shut the door and watched as Hobbes drove off.
__________________
Darien flopped down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He glanced at his bedside clock. 5:37.
He was finally going to tell Hobbes what had been on his mind for months. He needed to tell him. The close call with Arnaud had made him realize that he could possibly die on any one of these assignments. It was an unfortunate hazard of the job. He didn't want to die before he had a chance to talk to Bobby. Yet he was scared. Terrified. What the hell was Bobby going to say? Darien had no idea whatsoever whether or not Hobbes felt the same as he did. What Darien was going to say could either bring them closer together, or it could drive them apart. It could destroy their friendship. Darien couldn't think of that, though. He glanced at the clock once more and saw that almost thirty minutes had gone by.
He forced himself to get up and into the shower. The hot water felt so good. He could stand there for hours just letting the water fall onto his body, cleansing him of the world.
When he finally stepped out of the shower, the bathroom was like a sauna. He stepped into his bedroom with a towel around his waist and checked the clock. 6:45.
He quickly searched through his closet for a shirt to wear. He grabbed the orange shirt. *Bobby hates this shirt* Darien thought. *Oh well, hopefully his attention won't be focused on what I'm wearing.* He put on the pair of jeans he had set on his bed before and the shirt. He dried his hair with the towel and ran a comb through it. Before he headed out, he looked at himself in the mirror. "You can do this, Darien," he told his reflection.
________________
The drive to Hobbes' apartment complex was the shortest drive of his life. The walk up to Hobbes' apartment was the longest walk of his life. After he knocked, the sound of Hobbes unlocking the door could be heard.
"Hey Fawkes, come on in. I was just watching the game."
"Hey, Bobby. Who's winning?" Darien asked as he walked into the apartment.
"The Lakers. Fifty-six to fifty-three," Hobbes said unhappily.
"That sucks," said Darien as he sat in a chair.
"Yeah, tell me about it." Hobbes turned off the tv and sat down in a chair opposite Darien. "So what's up, Fawkes?"
"Bobby, I, uh, need to talk to you about something that's been on my mind for a while."
Hobbes' expression grew curious.
"This is kind of difficult," Darien said with a nervous smile.
"Look Fawkes, whatever it is just say it. You're kinda scaring me here, partner." Hobbes laughed lightly.
"I..." *Dammit Darien, just say it* "Bobby, I have feelings for you."
Hobbes raised his eyebrows in surprise. Darien looked at his hands nervously.
"Man, that's some news. You mean, like, romantic feelings?"
"Well, yeah."
There was an uncomfortable silence for a few moments. Hobbes opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Darien. "Look, um, I'm sorry. I know what you're probably thinking right now. I just...I'm sorry." Darien stood up to leave, but Hobbes quickly got up from the chair and grabbed Darien's shoulder. Darien looked at his friend, surprised.
"Darien, I...I kinda feel the same way. I mean, I care about you and not just as a friend." Hobbes spoke softly and gently. "I've felt this way for a while, but I never said anything because...well I've never, you know, had these feelings for a guy before."
"My God, Bobby that's exactly how I've felt. I've never even thought I would want another man, but you...you're just..." Darien couldn't find the words to describe how he felt. Hobbes felt this, so he leaned in, closed his eyes, and kissed the younger man. It wasn't a passionate kiss, just a simple kiss. Their lips touched and then separated. Darien looked at Hobbes, shocked, his mouth open slightly.
Hobbes looked into Darien's soft brown eyes. God they were beautiful. What was that he saw in them? Fear?
They stood gazing at each other until Darien broke the silence. "I...oh man. I'm sorry, I can't...I have to go. I'm sorry." Darien rushed to the door, carefully avoiding eye contact with Bobby.
"Fawkes..."
Darien was out the door before Hobbes could stop him. "I shouldn't have done that." Hobbes swore as he sat back down in the chair, burying his face in his hands. "I rushed him. I shouldn't have done that."
_______________
Outside, Darien was in his car with his head on the steering wheel. It wasn't really the kiss that had scared him. The feeling of Hobbes' lips finally on his own felt wonderful. That feeling was what scared him. He didn't understand why he felt this way. He had never thought about another man that way. He had always been attracted to women. Why had this suddenly changed? What made Bobby Hobbes so different?
He sat with his thoughts for what seemed like an eternity. When he finally looked at his watch, only thirty minutes had passed. Darien wasn't sure if he wanted to leave or if he wanted to go back up and talk to Hobbes. He finally decided on the latter. Maybe if they just talked some more, everything would work out.
He got out of his car and went back into the complex. Darien knocked on the door of Hobbes' apartment. A few moments later the sound of Bobby opening the door could once again be heard. The door swung open, revealing a worried looking Bobby Hobbes.
"Hey Bobby," Darien said quietly.
"Darien, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."
Darien put his right hand up to stop Hobbes' apology. "Look, it's okay. Can I come in?"
"Yeah, come on in." Hobbes stepped aside so Darien could come inside.
Darien came in slowly with his hands in his pockets and sat back down in the chair. Hobbes glance at him. Fawkes was wearing that orange shirt that showed off his thin, muscular frame so well. He had always told Darien that it looked ridiculous. It would have if it was worn by someone else, but on Darien it looked incredibly sexy. He forced the thought from his mind. Now was not the time for such thoughts. He sat down in a chair beside Darien at the table.
"Before you start apologizing about the...the kiss, that wasn't the problem. I just...I'm scared I guess. I really care about you, Bobby. You're the best friend I've ever had."
"I know. That's how I feel. I'm nervous too, Fawkes. We don't have to start a relationship yet. I mean, if that's what you wanted."
"Yeah, I do want a relationship, Bobby. I really do."
Darien looked at his partner. With women, he had always payed attention to their smiles. There was nothing more attractive to him on a woman than a radiant smile. With Bobby, he couldn't get over his eyes. There was so much emotion in them. They were so deep. They were limitless. Without realizing it, Darien leaned forward and kissed Hobbes. This time it was Bobby's turn to be surprised.
"Whoa..."
"What?" Darien asked,
"I'm just glad this is finally happening. You're sure you're okay with this, Darien?"
"Yeah, I am."
"Good, 'cause I've been waiting for this for a long time."
Darien laughed. "You could have talked to me, you know. I've been trying to get up enough courage to talk to you for months!"
"Well, I didn't want to, you know, scare you off or something. Like we've said, neither one of us has ever had this kind of relationship before. I wasn't quite sure how to handle it."
"I know, but I have a feeling this is going to work."
"Yeah, but if it doesn't, I don't want it to affect our friendship. You're the best friend I've had in a long time, and I'd hate to loose that."
"I'm scared too, Bobby. We're just going to have to work this out. We're going to have to learn as we go along."
"Okay, Fawkes. I'm willing to give this a shot."
"So am I, Bobby."
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