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by
When we last left our Intrepid Duo; Willow suggested a pregnancy test, Giles was pondering the possible child's species and Buffy was suffering from a mixture of fear for her friend and hurt at being dissed. Then, just to complicate matters, Xander fainted in Spike's arms. Let's all pause a moment while we picture a trembling Xander swooning against a leather clad Spike's delectable chest. Ahhhh! That's better! Now... on with the show... ~
Slowly, little by little, Xander became aware of his surroundings. It was quiet, warm and... soft?! Slightly confused, and just a touch wary, Xander peeled open one eye. And saw that he was back in his apartment and lying on his bed.
He had no idea how he'd come to be here since his last memory was at the Magic Box, but home he was. What's more, he was lying in bed, propped up by a mountain of pillows and cushions and fluffed up old sheets with what seemed to be every single blanket he owned spread out over top of him and then tucked up under his chin.
With one confused eyebrow rising up in search of his hairline, Xander shifted around in his bed. Or at least, he *tried* to. The few small wiggles that he *could* make let him know two facts. One, he had been stripped down naked before being put to bed, and two, the multiple layers of blankets over top of him *also* happened to be tucked up underneath the bed's mattress. He was, in essence, trapped by warm fluffiness.
Turning his head to the side, since it was the only part of him that he *could* move freely, Xander noticed that he was also alone. A frown formed on his face and mild claustrophobia began to set in. Besides, he had to go pee and he was unable to get out of his bed. *Not* a good combination in his mind.
"Um?... Hello?... Ahhh... is anyone out there?..."
Xander's frown deepened suddenly and he muttered to himself.
"Great. Now I'm channeling Pink Floyd songs. Just what I need to convince myself I'm not going crazy..."
However, before Xander could convince himself that the past day really *had* been a horrible hallucination brought on by an overdose of pop-culture combined with too much sugar and caffeine, Xander heard quick heavy footsteps from the other room. They were heading directly for his bedroom door.
Xander wondered briefly who it was that had brought him home and tucked him in to bed with every woolly and fleecy piece of blanket shaped fabric he owned when the door swung open and Spike practically flew across the room to perch on the edge of the bed, his long fingered pale hands fluttering nervously as he attempted to straighten the blankets a bit. Xander looked up into worried blue eyes set in a face who's expression was one of helpless adoration and sighed. Figures. It was his newly cursed "husband", Worrywart the Bloody.
"Xan-Luv? You okay? Still feel... um, wobbly?"
Xander shook his head no. On reflex he tried to reach out with his hand to soothe the agitated vampire, but he couldn't get his arms out from under the blankets. His squirming must have alerted Spike to his dilemma, because the bleached blonde carefully drew back the blanket, but only enough for Xander to work free that one hand. Then, Spike smoothed back the blankets again.
"Um... no. I'm... fine. No wobbles here, but... uh, not too sound stupid or anything, but... why am I in bed? I mean, with all of the blankets and all?"
Spike gave him a look that was equal parts "duh" and "isn't he adorable".
"Pet... luv, you humans are a fragile lot. I've broken enough of 'em in my time, so I should know. Must admit that I don't know *too* much about taking care of one, but I *do* know some stuff that I picked up here and there, don't I? You fainted from shock pet, and everyone knows you have to keep shock victims *warm*."
Spike screwed up his face in thought and his bright blue eyes searched the ceiling for a brief moment, but before Xander could argue that he was more than warm and was heading towards overly hot, Spike tilted his head to face him again.
"Do you need me to go get you some orange juice? Broke into the local Red Cross one night to nick me a bag or two of A positive a while back, and I heard some bint in a white uniform tell some bloke to drink up all the orange juice in her cup so that he wouldn't end up face down on the tiles again."
The absurdity of the situation began to press down on Xander and he couldn't have stopped the silly grin which erupted across his face even if Principle Snyder himself up and walked through the door only to sit down beside him so they could discuss rebuilding the school back over the Hellmouth. Reaching out with his one free hand, Xander grasped hold of one of Spike's nervously fluttering ones and gave a gentle squeeze.
"Spike, I'm *fine*. Honest. I have to pee and I'm sorta hungry, but there's no need to worry. It's just... stress. Honest."
Spike nodded in agreement for about half a minute and then he frowned and began to shake his head in the negative. Xander was confused.
"What?"
"S'not fine Xan-Luv. I mean, the hungry part we can fix right enough, but the stress... that's not good for you humans. Leads to all sorts of nasty things... like heart attacks and strokes and ulcers and what not. S'not good for our baby either."
At the very mention of "the baby" and Xander's possible pregnancy, he began to tremble again. Not as bad this time, but enough that it was obvious to vampire senses. Spike, however, misunderstood his anxiety and began to try to pet and soothe him.
"Shhh... luv, shhhh... Don't worry yourself about it. Spike's here and I'll take care of everything. Don't you get yourself in a tizzy over that mean old nasty Watcher. Chip or no bloody chip, I won't let that tosser hurt you *or* our child! The Slayer neither!"
Xander shook his head and reached up to shake Spike's shoulder.
"No! I mean, what if it's *true*?! What if Anya really *did* make me preg... preg... pregnant?! And if she did, what the hell is the child going to *be*?!?!"
Xander's own frightened eyes looked up into big blue adoring ones marred only by slight confusion and mild worry.
"Why, we simply go on with our lives... or unlife as the case may be. We live and love, pet. It doesn't matter if the baby turns out to be human or vampire of w'amphrii, we just love it anyway the best we know how."
Xander just lay there, silently soaking up as much of Spike's easy going acceptance as he could. He suddenly found that he needed his lover's silent strength and ability to push on in the face of overwhelming trauma and bizarreness. He basked in the love and attention and caring and absolutely refused to ask what in the world a "w'amphrii" was...
"Um... Spike? I, uh... still have to go pee."
His bleached blonde lover looked down at him and smiled. Then the smile faded into a look of worry.
"What with you humans being so fragile and all, maybe you shouldn't be up and walking about just yet... Oh! I know, I'll bring you an empty jar!"
With that, Spike leapt up off of the bed and dashed out of the room. Xander struggled to free himself from the restraining blankets even as he heard Spike muttering and swearing while he banged around in the kitchen. With a sigh of resignation, Xander figured that he'd have to have a long talk to Spike about how *not* frail and weak he was.
A wave of dizziness washed over him then and he leaned back against the mountain of pillows. Later. He'd talk to the blonde psychotic about his paranoid tendencies later.
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