Disclaimers:
Summary:
Warnings:
Notes:
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by
Dar stood out overlooking the valley as the sun said 'good-night' to the world and sunk below the horizon. All around him was peace and that was all too often a rare thing in these lands.
But even though peace surrounded him, memories also swarmed to fight for control. Tao being stabbed by Arina sent him into that pit of sorrow he had been trying to escape for the last three days.
Yes he had managed to defeat the demonic soul stealer and save Tao's life, but he couldn't shake the horrific scene where he held Tao's body in his arms and saw the agonized pain engulf his friend.and that's when he realized it. How often he had taken Tao for granted. How empty his life would be without the knowledgeable Eiron around for companionship.
At first Tao had irritated him because of his wondrous need to communicate. Always talking, always relaying information, teaching, informing, and though there had been many times Dar had wanted his new friend just to stay quiet, he couldn't help but smile at the sound of Tao's voice. Tao was a gentle soul, and it was that soul Dar was reflecting on now. He had taken Tao's soul back from the demon that had stolen it and had literally poured life back into Tao. The sword wound in his side had healed and Tao had revived with no memory of his soul being stolen or being stabbed.
But, how far would Dar have gone to save Tao? It was this question going through his mind at that moment as he turned his attention to further down the hillside where the glow of the campfire burned like a beacon. In the dimness of oncoming night, Dar could see his friend sitting on a log, writing on some parchment. Ruh was at Tao's feet and it seemed to Dar that as Tao became more a part of his own life, he also became more a part of the tiger's life. Above them the eagle, Sharak, soared, his wings spread wide and Dar looked up only for a brief instant to bid his friend a peaceful sleep. Sharak had responded, **'Tell him.'**
Dar blinked. **'Tell him what?'**
**'Tell him.'** The words came to his mind again.
Dar knew what the eagle was saying to him, but it was not something he cold bring himself to acquiesce to. He said nothing more to the eagle as Sharak circled low one more time to check on the camp and Dar watched as Tao smiled up at their winged friend and waved.
Tao's smile. His deeply rooted ability to just.care. This is what Dar had taken for granted. What would his life be like now if Tao was gone? 'Empty,' he thought. It was an emptiness that surpassed grief. He had indeed almost lost Tao three days ago. And it was the reality of that possibility that sprung many more questions and thoughts within Dar's mind. So much so that his heart ached. He decided to turn in and began his decent down hill toward the camp.
When he reached the boundaries, Tao turned and his smile lit up his face. Dar froze and stared at him. Tao quickly got to his feet, letting the parchment in his lap fall silently to the ground. "What is it?" he asked, suddenly concerned.
It took Dar a few moments to realize that Tao was reacting to his sudden stop. He grinned and shook his head. "Nothing," he assured. Then the words flowed into his mind before he realized they were even forming, 'Nothing except I'm falling in love with you, Tao.' It was this realization, this sudden **knowing** that made Dar's heart clench and his breath to stop.
"Are you sure? You look pale all of a sudden," Tao walked up to him and Dar reached out to rest a hand on his shoulder. The contact made the Eiron stop his advance. "Dar? Is something wrong?"
"I'm fine," Dar said with a smile as he squeezed Tao's shoulder. "Are you all right? Any pain?"
Tao almost chuckled. "Is that what's bothering you?" He eased away from Dar's touch and turned to walk back to the log.
"You didn't see the wound, Tao. It was through your side. I just."
"Dar, trust me. I'm fine. No pain." Tao looked at him and Dar's concern touched him deeply. If anything the encounter with the soul stealer sealed more than stole anything from Tao.
**"It would take a lot more than that to break me," he had told Dar.
Dar had looked at him, truthful, honest, his gaze unfaltering. "That's what I'm afraid of."**
**'That's what I'm afraid of.'** The words echoed in Tao's mind, filling him with warmth. All this time traveling with Dar he had always felt that Dar only seemed to protect him because it was required of him to do so. That whoever traveled with Dar was under his protection and his protection stemmed from a sense of duty.nothing more personable than that. Nothing instigated by actual **emotion**. But when Tao had been tortured under Zad's orders to try and coerce information about Dar's family and the crystal ark from his lips, Dar suddenly made it known to Tao that protecting him was now his utmost concern. It ranked up there with finding his family and seeing them safely to the crystal ark. It was in that moment that Tao realized Dar did care. Not out of obligation or duty, but out of the depth of his heart.
Good almost always came out of the evils of the world.if your heart was open enough to see it.
As he bent over to pick up the parchment he sensed eyes on him and he straightened and turned to see Dar gazing at him. "Are you sure you're all right, Dar?" he asked, scrupulously.
Dar jerked a bit and realized he had been staring at Tao. His dark hair, longer than when they first met, gleamed as the fire's glow reflected off of the shine. Dar found himself wondering at the texture of Tao's hair. Tao had also built some muscle in the arms and legs. No longer scrawny, but a strong build greeted Dar's eyes. He slowly raked his eyes over the person before him. Tao had changed. Not only physically, but within his mind and soul as well. 'He's learning the ways of the world,' Dar thought. 'What he had been sent out to do, to collect knowledge, but it's more than that now.' Yes, it was indeed more than that now. Tao was being tempered, like a fine steel under a smith's hammer, being formed and fashioned into a sturdy weapon, forged in fire, molded and pounded into a fine edge.
Tao had given him that image when he had learned the art of making swords.
Tao was becoming a man with sharp edges, but also learning the wisdom to not cut unnecessarily. Tao was becoming a man.with the hint of warrior under the surface. A man of wisdom and the skill of a warrior was a man to be revered.not lusted after.
Dar swallowed. That final bit of chastising didn't seem to come from within him. He looked up and saw Ruh lazily looking at him. **What do you know about it?** he asked the tiger with his mind.
Ruh snorted. **Please, as if I haven't seen this coming.**
"Oh yeah?" Dar spoke out loud and Tao turned to see that another one of those private conversations was being performed. "Well keep your thoughts to yourself. I know what I'm doing."
Ruh shook his head as if in disgust and got up to move to another part of the campground. When he lied back down again his back was to Dar. The conversation.or argument.was over for the time being.
Tao looked at Dar questioningly. "That's been happening a lot lately."
"What has?" Dar asked as he took off his vest and laid his leather pouch down. The two ferrets within, Kodo and Podo, were content to stay within the confines of the pouch and keep sleeping. Dar sat down in front of the fire and crossed his legs. To busy himself he took a stick and began to stir the flames.
"You and Ruh," Tao went on to explain. "You two have been arguing a lot lately."
Dar rolled his eyes slightly and shook his head. "I'm just finding out how opinionated he can be."
Tao took his seat again and rolled up the parchment. "I see," Tao said as he laid the parchment at his feet. A gust of wind blew up and the rolled parchment flew into the flames. Tao jumped and reached in to retrieve it when it happened.
His ring. The moment he came into contact with the flames his ring began to glow. Startled, he scooted away and held out his hand in front of him. Dar was at his side holding his wrist and the glowing light cascaded over the faces of both men. "What is it?" Dar breathed out.
Tao was now the one looking pale. "I.I don't know," he whispered.
But he did know. By the knowledge of Eiron.he knew. And the knowing sent a cold wave of fear to engulf him. *****
Quiet, now. The moment was gone. The glow was all but a memory. The only evidence anything unusual happened was the slight burn on Tao's hand after he reflexively reached into the fire to retrieve his journal parchment. However, the parchment had been completely lost to him when his jade ring had begun to glow the moment his hand made contact with the flames.
Dar sat by him gently wrapping the burned hand with a strip of cloth bandaging that Tao always carried with him in a pouch amongst his other medicinal herbs and tools. The flipping of roles did not seem strange to the Beastmaster as he carefully wound the burn after salving it with honey. (An image of Tao's torso being covered in honey and Dar licking the sweet, golden food off that sweet golden chest ran through his mind and he shut his eyes, chastising himself. What was he thinking? Why were these thoughts continually raiding his consciousness?)
**You're beginning to sound like him.** Ruh's thoughts infiltrated Dar's mind and the warrior glared at the tiger. Ruh snorted as if saying 'suit yourself'.
Tao, however, heard none of it, nor did he even seem to notice another private conversation between Dar and Ruh was going on. He was just letting Dar bandage his hand as he gazed into the flames. He wasn't even looking at his ring, a ring of heritage, or connection to a people all but extinct.
Dar couldn't help but look at it as he returned his focus on the task at hand...literally. "Feeling better?" he asked gently, almost in a whisper as if Tao's thoughts were precious or sacred and any uninvited noise would spoil his spirit in some way.
Tao looked down at the finished work and flexed his hand a bit. He managed a smile. "Good work."
Dar grinned and patted Tao's shoulder. "Good teacher."
"I never taught you burn medicine."
"You did tonight," Dar retorted with a slight shrug.
Tao chuckled a bit and nodded in acknowledgement. "I suppose so." His gaze went back to the flames.
Dar followed the gaze and sighed. "I'm sorry about your parchment."
Tao slowly shook his head. "Brand new one. Hardly any writing on it at all." He felt a slight sting of regret pierce his heart. The 'hardly any writing' he was referring to was a secret he had confessed to only himself and those invisible to the writer's eye but not to their minds, who inspired and brought out the creativity. He called them his links. The ones who linked him to his thoughts and forced him to question and write down all he learned. No, only he and his links knew of that secret he had written down the night before. But Tao remembered what he had written as surely as if the flames that had burned his hand had burned the words into his soul...
**Will he ever know my heart? I think the soul eater demon brought it to his mind that I am mortal. That I, too, could die...leave him...
I once wondered if it would make a difference to him if I left...now I know it would. He placed me above Arina that day. She too had her soul taken, but my life was seeping out with the sword wound Arina had unwittingly given to me. But even before that.when Zad had captured me and they had gotten me out of that cage, when Arina had to fight for the souls of her ancestors, she had literally insisted I stay behind, calling me excess baggage. The look I saw in Dar's face. He didn't have to say anything to tell me he was not happy with her for saying that. I knew he wanted me to go with him, but it was Arina's fight and he would rather I had been away and safe. Arina basically apologized by giving me a sword to help protect me. Guess she had seen Dar's look, too. That time Dar showed me how much I mean to him. In a way I shouldn't be begging for more than what he is able to give at this time. It's taken him two years to consider me truly a part of his quest. Truly a part of his family. In a sort of morbid way I owe the soul eater a debt of thanks. If I had not come so close to dying, Dar may not have come to such a decision at least not this time.
I don't know. Maybe I'm over analyzing that day. Maybe I'm wanting there to be more. No...no...let's not start lying to myself. I do want there to be more. Ever since my brother, Kim, died. Ever since I lost my family...Dar has been my only family left to me. But it's more than that. I need him more than I ever thought possible. Every day I see him smile or softly laugh and his eyes shine. Or when there's trouble he is at peace even in the midst of battle. He is beautiful to me and I only realized a few weeks ago that I'm falling...no...I've all ready fallen in love with him.**
Tao cringed as he remembered the last words he had written. He, in a way, was grateful the fire had taken the parchment. If Dar ever accidentally came upon those words.the Eiron didn't want to think of what could happen. Tao would lose everything. Everything.
The hint of jade caught his eye and he looked down at his ring. "Never mind," he whispered softly.
"What was that?" Dar asked.
Tao jerked when it became clear he had spoken out loud. He looked at Dar, confused. "Nothing," he said, then thought, 'Nothing you can do anything about, my dearest friend.'
Losing everything was no longer a fear. It was now a promise. Tao considered the word 'threat', but 'threat' implied a way out. There was no way out of this. He knew that. Just as surely as he knew when he fell in love with Dar that there would be no way out of that without pain.
"What was it, Tao?" Dar asked as he eased himself beside his friend and brought his knees up to drape his arms over. He gazed into the fire as well; hoping to see whatever it was Tao was looking for in the flames.
"I'm not certain," Tao replied. It wasn't exactly a lie. How it would happen remained to be seen, in that respect he wasn't certain.
"Do your people have stories about their rings?" Dar was not going to let this go, but by the gods, how was Tao going to explain it to him? Could he? Should he even try? What good would it do? He nodded in response. "I thought they were legend. Stories, nothing to really manifest as reality, just enough to spark awe in the children. Legend, customs...passed down from generation to generation."
Tao mimicked Dar and pulled his knees up. He lowered his head to his folded arms and sighed. "I'm tired, Dar. Can we talk about this in the morning?"
Dar was torn. He wanted to pursue it, for he felt Tao knew more than he was letting on. But he also didn't want to push Tao into shutting him out. He put a gentle arm around his friend's shoulders and at the contact he felt the tension literally lift from them. "I'd feel better if you..." he started then stopped.
Tao lifted his eyes. "Yes?" There had been a hint of hesitation in Dar's voice; almost as if what he was about to ask was forbidden. Dar sighed. "I'd feel better if you would let me sleep near you tonight? If there's danger nearby I would..."
"Please," Tao said, almost gratefully. "I was hoping you would...you know...say something to that effect."
At Tao's response, Dar felt much better. He had not been sure how Tao would take the request. Then it hit him that Tao had been grateful for it. Did that verify Dar's suspicions? That danger was nearby? He looked up to see Sharak in the tree above them. He spoke out a command to keep alert. Sharak agreed. Ruh as well. Dar smiled at the tiger. They may have been getting on each other's nerves lately, but when it came down to it, Ruh was truly a good friend. Even more so considering his increased protectiveness of Tao.
**You love him. Why would I not protect him?"**
At this Dar jerked a look at the tiger who swished his tail up and down as he laid a few feet off.
Dar said nothing in response.
As Tao eased himself onto his side, Dar took up a space behind him. "Just do me one favor, Tao?"
"What's that?"
"If that ring glows again...tell me."
Tao swallowed. "Of course," he said, but there was a nervousness to his tone. A nervousness that Dar honestly did not feel comfortable with. He was certain of it now. Tao was keeping something from him.
++++
**The heat swarmed over him like rolling waves and he fell to all fours as he tried to dodge it. "No!" he screamed as he felt his flesh burning. He was naked and surrounded by flames. "No! Stop!" Oh, water, coolness...where was his escape? Where was his shelter from this horrid death? A flame spewed out at him from the side and he turned to see its billowing ball of red, orange and yellow. He screamed once more as the agony engulfed his body.**
Strong arms, lifting him, fighting against him. Was he struggling? Was he fighting? Drowning? No, he was too hot to be surrounded by water. A voice, gentle but firm trying to break through, but it was too much. Too much against the flames. Too much against the pain and the burning. "Tao! Stop it! It's over! Stop thrashing!"
Dar?
Tao felt the body against his own, holding him close in a sheltering embrace. He instantly wrapped his arms around that familiar form. Both of them were shaking with fear. "Hot," Tao said and Dar could feel the sweat pouring off of him. "Burning...please, Dar, stop the fire." Tao was mumbling, almost incoherent.
Dar looked down and saw the reddening skin, the sweat. He felt the heat pouring out of Tao like a maddening fever. He lifted him into his arms and without hesitation hurried to the river.
As soon as Tao's body made contact with the cool water, steam arose. Dar couldn't believe what he was seeing. Hissing steam as if something red hot was being dunked into water. Exactly what was happening with Tao, but a human body should not be acting like...like metal being forged?
He continued to carry Tao's limp form out further into the river. He put Tao's entire body under and still his friend would not wake up. "Tao! Wake up!" he pled, hoping his voice would break through. But nothing. Dar looked down to see the ring.it was once more burning bright with a greenish glow.
Dar lifted Tao closer and shook him gently. "Tao! Wake up! I need you!" Deceptive, yes, but right at that moment he could live with that.
Tao stirred and slowly opened his eyes, but there was a weariness to them. "Dar?"
"Tell me why the ring glows, Tao! Tell me!"
Tao eased a hand up and put his fingers to Dar's cheek. "Dar...no..."
"Tell me!" Dar urged and his voice was strained with panicked emotion. "What does it mean?"
Tao shook his head as his eyelids fell shut again. "Can't...my heart. Don't ask, please."
The hand fell away and Tao hung limp once more. Dar gazed at his friend with shock. He had called Dar, 'my heart'. Or was it Tao's heart in pain? No. No, Dar was certain of it. The tone of voice had been one of endearment. The words 'my heart' were meant for him. He lifted his friend carefully and carried him out of the water back to camp where he set Tao over his lap and held him close. He would hold him close until dawn or until Tao woke up, whichever came first. Either way, he would be there when Tao awoke and he would get some answers...one way or another.
*****
The midnight hour slowly drifted into early morning and still the fires' flame burned. Dar's only company next to the tiger, eagle and sleeping ferrets were the crackling flames that cast off their story of heat, glowing light and burning embers of dead wood.
Fire.
Hadn't Dar compared Tao's change to metal being forged? Was he somehow at fault for his friend's pain? Was his recognition of Tao's mental and physical development the catalyst that opened up a mystical doorway? He snorted slightly so as not to wake his friend. "You *are* starting to sound like him," he spoke out loud. His warrior ability had passed on to Tao and Tao's analytical thinking had passed on to him. Questions, questioning, searching, pondering.insight.
Insight.
What would Tao's gifted ability for insight say about this? Magic in the works? Possible. The Sorceress was still around, seemingly playing both sides of the fence separating good and evil. With the soul eater.
Dar tensed. The soul eater. Had she done something to Tao's soul in some way? Was she still able to work her evil from beyond? Was this what Tao would call a booby-trap? She had given Tao a spell on his soul, and it waited for just the right means to manifest. In that sense Dar did indeed call the evil into being by observing Tao in allegory. Being shaped and molded like metal in fire.
He tightened his hold on Tao as he looked down at the ring on the Eiron's finger. How badly he wanted to take the ring off and throw it into the woods. Far away from Tao.give it to Sharak and have him carry it into another region and drop it where no one could find it. It looked dangerous now with its ominous glow. A mysterious glow, but it was not mysterious to Tao. Tao knew what it meant. He just did not want Dar to know. For what reason? To protect him? Or because Tao had given up? Or maybe it was even deeper than that. Maybe Tao felt Dar could do nothing for him. None of those reasons could really be justified. It hurt Dar to think that Tao would keep such an obviously significant secret from him. "Why won't you tell me?" he whispered as he pulled Tao closer to him and buried his face into the younger man's neck. Tao's body was cool now, almost normal temperature. Dar wondered what caused him to burn like that, as if a volcano was inside Tao ready to erupt.
He had to find answers and he somehow knew Tao would be just stubborn enough to keep quiet. Of all times for the scholar to keep quiet.
Above him still keeping watch from the branch, Sharak gazed down at them. Dar locked eyes with the eagle. **Bring her to me.** In an instant Sharak was off into the air.
If Tao would not tell him, Dar would talk to someone who might have some idea what was going on. The Sorceress was not exactly his first choice, but he saw no other options. He had gotten Tao back after a brush with death only a few days before. He was realizing his feelings for the man in his arms. He would not lose Tao now. Not if he could do anything about it.
++++
**"A powerful ally." The elder spoke and Tao just sat there, his legs crossed, his wrists hanging over his knees. He was staring into the fire. "He wishes to protect you."
"I know he cannot. Not from this," Tao said in a low and soft voice. It was his way to resign himself to the inevitable. He was preparing himself for just that outcome.
The elder of the Eiron's circled Tao, his long gray cloak covering a white robe with a hood. His white beard hung to his chest and his wrinkled eyes studied the young man before him. "It will be glorious, Tao. Do not fear it."
"It's not death I fear," Tao said. "It's leaving Dar alone."
"But he has his animals, does he not?"
Tao shook his head. "It's more complicated than that."
"Has he developed an affection for you?"
Tao lifted his eyes at that and studied the old man carefully. "What would you know about affection or connection between two people? You dedicated your life to academics. To loneliness."
"And you were to go into the world and teach and learn and pass that learning to others. Instead you chose companionship."
"Is that so wrong?"
"It is amongst those who are called to the Journey."
Tao lowered his eyes to the flames once more. "Will it be soon?"
"The sentencing has commenced. You must die, Tao. It is the law."
"How will it happen?"
The elder turned to him and jutted out a hand. The flames erupted. "By fire," he said.**
*****
"And what makes you think I know what is happening?" the Sorceress asked with a casual toss of her blond hair. She stood before him dressed in a purple and black gown. Her long, black fingernails clicked together as she clasped her hands in front of her.
"You've been observing us for too long to not know," Dar replied, his voice kept to a low tone as to avoid waking Tao, who slept about ten feet off to the side with Kodo and Podo curled alongside him. Their effort to keep him safe.
She shrugged with an arch of her eyebrows. "I'm sorry, Beastmaster, but what is happening with Tao is beyond my understanding. He does not want to talk about it?"
"He says he can't and for me not to ask."
"Then why is that so difficult for you to accept?"
Dar shook his head in frustration. "The ring glowing has a significant meaning," he tried to explain. "I saw the look in Tao's face when it first happened."
Intrigued, the Sorceress tilted her head. "What look?"
"Fear."
"Really," she seemed thoughtful. "And he said nothing to you?"
"At first he said he didn't understand it, but I think he does and is afraid to tell me."
"Then you should abide by his wishes and leave him to his destiny."
At this Dar looked at her, curious. "Destiny? Why do you use that particular word?"
She shrugged as if the answer was obvious. "If the glow of the ring has something to do with his people, then it must mean his people's heritage is calling to him. Perhaps that is what it is...a beacon."
Dar's eyes widened as insight dawned. He looked back to Tao who was now beginning to toss and turn in his sleep, as if dreaming once again. "A beacon," he echoed under his breath. "That's got to be it." He turned to the Sorceress and found she had disappeared. "Thank you," he breathed to the air as he returned to Tao's side. He rested a hand on Tao's shoulder. "Easy, my friend," he whispered. "Ease out of this one."
As if in obedience, the tossing and turning stopped and Tao slipped back into a peaceful deep sleep without waking. Dar eased to the ground on his side, putting his arm under his head. He kept his hand on Tao's shoulder. 'A beacon,' he thought. 'But to what?'
++++
When Tao awoke the next morning he found himself in a very precarious position which made him freeze with embarrassment, wondering just what possessed him to seek the shelter of the man beside him. He found his right leg was nestled snugly in between Dar's legs. He also found his right arm had draped over his friend's stomach in the night. Dar's arm was around his shoulders while his head was on Dar's chest. He took a few moments to gain his bearings before he even thought about moving. 'Great,' he thought. 'How am I supposed to get out of the choke hold he has on me without waking him up?'
The sound of chirping could be heard and he was able to move his head just enough to see Kodo and Podo dancing and seemingly cackling with delight. "You rats," he whispered. "You think this is funny?"
Kodo rolled onto his back and it looked as if he was laughing hysterically. Tao imagined, if he had known the trick, the ferret would have pointed a finger at him with one paw while covering his eyes in laughter with the other.
Suddenly Dar moved in his sleep. Tao felt the crushing embrace and he tried to pull away, but Dar pulled him even closer and then he moaned. Was he waking up? Or dreaming? Before Tao could do anything to emerge out of this with both his and Dar's pride intact, Dar's lips were on his and the kissing began.
Tao froze and his heart almost stopped. It wasn't him Dar was kissing, but some physical manifestation of a woman in his dreams. It couldn't be him. It just couldn't.
Then the moaning happened again. "Mmmm, Tao," Dar asked in his sleep as he continued to kiss the unresponsive lips. Tao hitched a breath and his body tensed. "Dar?" he whispered in between the kissing. "It's me...Tao."
Another kiss. "Mmmhmmm, I know."
"Dar...you're kissing me."
Dar stopped as if suddenly realizing what he was doing. He opened his eyes slowly to see Tao's face only an inch from his. He found his fingers on Tao's chin, his other arm wrapped securely around the Eiron's shoulders.
Tao was smiling, but it was an embarrassed smile. "Morning," he said, unsure what to do now.
Dar looked at him. "Good morning," he replied but he did not take his fingers from Tao's chin. Instead he began to caress the chin tenderly. Tao swallowed. "Dar...I..." he stopped and, when determination seared its way through him, he locked eyes with Dar.
"Tell me to stop," the blond man said with a tone of voice indicating he really didn't want to.
Tao swallowed again. "Dar...I..." then he saw the look in Dar's eyes. The love was there. No. It couldn't be...could it?
He breathed out heavily. "Don't stop," he said and the two joined together in mutual want and desire. Dar slowly rose to his knees, pulling Tao up with him as they kissed. He put his hands gently to Tao's face and continued to maul his lips, neck and face. "Tao," he breathed out. "I won't lose you."
Those words, unintentional though they were, were the words to force Tao into pulling away. He quickly backed off. Dar gazed at him with fear. "Tao, what..."
"Stay away from me, Dar," Tao said, holding his hand out...the hand with the ring. Dar gazed into the eyes that could look into his own soul and fill that aching void. Now that void was within Tao's soul. How complicated that look was. Dar didn't understand it, not really. Normally he could tell what Tao was feeling just by the look he gave. His eyes were that expressive. This time...this time there was turmoil and agony, sadness and joy and desire all rolled up into one gaze. But which one was more dominant? Which way would Tao run? Would he run away from him...or to him?
Tao got to his feet and Dar stood with him. He could see the tears forming in Tao's eyes. "I have to...leave, Dar. I can't stay. I was a fool to give into you so quickly, but oh gods! I wanted it! I've wanted you for awhile now." He tried to laugh but there was no joy in the sound.
"You have me now, Tao. I'm right here."
"But I cannot be here!" Tao shouted. He looked down at his ring and clenched his fist. "I have to leave you, Dar. I have no choice. It's better if I just walk away now than to have you witness..." he stopped.
"What, Tao?" Dar took a step closer. "What is it?"
Tao looked at him and the sorrow was soul deep. All Dar wanted to do in that moment was to wrap his soul around Tao's and ease that turmoil. Tao turned away and started walking off when Dar grabbed his arm and held tight. "Don't!" he begged. "I can't let you leave! Not like this! After all we've been through together, all..." he searched Tao's face, his eyes. He reached up and wiped the tears away that were flowing down that beautiful face. "Tao, don't leave me without some explanation. I need to know."
"It's out of my hands, Dar." Tao looked at the ring and his shoulders slumped with defeat. Dar took that hand in both of his own. "Tell me, please. Whatever it is, we can see it through together."
Tao looked down, shaking his head. This was harder than he anticipated. If he left, Dar would follow him. If Dar knew the reason why, maybe...maybe he would honor Tao's wishes and let him leave without argument. If he knew there was no other way. Then again, Dar was not very good at accepting things as they were meant to be. He leaned his bowed head forward and Dar wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close. "Tell me, my heart," he whispered, choking back his own tears.
"I..." Tao started, then he took in a breath and revealed the secret with the exhalation. "I've been sentenced to die."
*****
Dar had to remember to breathe. As he held Tao and as these words struck him like a blow to the head, unseen and unexpected, he unconsciously went numb, his arms lessening their hold around his...friend? No, Tao was more than a friend to him now. More than that of a brother. And Tao, himself, had said that he had wanted the kissing, had asked Dar not to stop. So were they indeed more than friends? More than brothers?
Tao pulled away, his face grim and set. "I have to leave you, Dar. I have to face the spirit elders of my people. I have to face my fate."
Dar's face went pale and he instinctively clutched Tao's neck in both hands, his thumbs rubbing against his cheeks. "No," he whispered out hoarsely. "You can't do this!"
"I have no choice! It's either die at your side or willingly go to my death. I won't have you watch me die. It's that simple." He pulled Dar's hands from his face and started walking off. Dar caught his arm. "I'm going with you, then."
Tao wrenched his arm free. "NO!" he shouted. "Dar, aren't you listening to me? I won't be subjected to an easy death. The heat of my body last night was a testament to the death I'll be going through. They've sentenced me to die by fire, Dar. It's all ready begun. You can't stop it. Allow me the dignity of dying honorably."
"Your people have decided to kill you...for what crime?"
"For going against the nature of the Journey. The Journey for the Eiron scholar is sacred and we who are called to it are bound to uphold the meaning of the mission. By attaching myself to you, I lost sight of my mission. I chose to stay in the Mydlands. I chose to not venture out beyond the boundaries, to learn to bring knowledge back to my people. If I had...if I had, maybe I would have found out about Voden and maybe I could have warned my people. Instead I spent that time with you."
"But you heard Dartanus! You are meant to be with me! Destined, he said."
Tao looked down. "Well, my people and those that reside over our laws don't see it that way. The spirits came to me last night and told me what my punishment is. I may not be a warrior, Dar, but I know duty and honor when I am faced with it. The ring glowed. The signal of impending death and judgement. I broke a sacred vow of the Eiron code. I have to face my punishment or risk disgracing the memory of my people."
"Your people are dead!"
"Dar!" Tao shouted and glared at him, his bottom jaw clenched in fury. "Stay away from me. You can't do anything to stop it and I won't let you watch me die." He reached down and picked up his pack. He set it on his back and looked at Dar one last time. "Don't follow me. Don't send Sharak to follow me. Don't send Ruh to look out for me. A clean break."
Dar's eyes filled with tears. "After...after what we just discovered about each other...you're just willing to walk away from it."
"Not willingly, Dar. What do you want to do? Watch my body go up in flames? It could happen at any moment."
"I'm going with you!" Dar shouted and he picked up his vest and pouch. "There's got to be a way to stop this. You asked me to not follow you...I respect your customs and laws, Tao. It's part of what you are, but I'm asking you to respect mine. I don't allow those I love to suffer. We'll go to wherever it is you have to go to, but don't you leave me behind and expect me to accept this as the way things have to be."
"Dar, please!"
"No!" He pointed a finger at Tao. "If you die, you're not going to meet death alone. My final word, Tao. No more arguments!" He swung his pouch over his shoulder and stood ready. "Which way?"
Tao shook his head. "East," he said. "Towards the rising sun."
Dar headed that direction and Tao fell into step beside him. "I don't want you to watch it happen."
"I promise. I won't. Because it's not going to happen."
"Dar, don't do this to yourself. It is going to happen."
Dar stopped walking and put his hand to Tao's neck again. "Do you love me? What we did a few minutes ago makes me think 'yes'. But I need to hear it from you...do you love me?"
Tao looked up at him and there was gentleness and resignation in that gaze. "Yes," he breathed out. "I've loved you for a while now."
"Then let me stand with you, Tao. I almost lost you. If I can find a way to save you from this judgement, I'm going to. My vow to you...the one I love."
Tao felt both relieved and burdened at the same time. Of all times for them to discover their feelings for each other. It had to be now? With this dark fate hanging over the scholar's head? He wanted to turn and run, to spare Dar the inevitable outcome. But he wanted to be near him as well, to find shelter in the presence of one that cared about him, loved him...someone that wanted him safe. He knew that if anyone could find a way out of this it was the man before him. But...
"Dar, what if you...what if there is no way out of this?"
Dar eased toward him slowly. He put his lips to Tao's in a gentle, reassuring kiss. The kiss lingered and as Dar slowly pulled away he caressed Tao's neck and hair. His suspicions about the texture of Tao's hair were correct. It was soft and silky. He planned on running his fingers through that mop of black velvet for many years to come. "Dartanus said you were destined to walk with me. I'd rather believe in destiny than in human law, Tao. There's a way out of this. We just have to find it. And we *will* find it."
Tao instantly flung his arm around Dar's neck and pulled him into another kiss, more passionate and rougher than before, as if desire and want and fear were all mixed together and Tao needed the touch of Dar's lips to release them, to calm his spirit and give him peace.
Dar pulled him into his arms and their lips joined as if straining to become one. Their tongues caressed and danced around each other. Tao's lips were gentle and soft and the desperate invitation for Dar to take more was flittering before him on the fringes of taste. He dug his fingers tenderly into Tao's back and felt the muscles ripple under his touch. The lanky and youthful man had matured and filled out and Dar was kneading the results of that maturation with every clinging grip. He felt Tao's shoulder blades, the area between them. He felt the base of Tao's neck where the shoulder met. And Tao's strength...Dar's breath was caught and held as he felt the Eiron clutch him tightly as if never wanting to let go. And the stirring within his loins made him groan with need. Tao didn't want the kissing to stop, the holding, the touching...it was all new to him and Dar could feel Tao's need press against his own.
He did love Tao! It was a joyous moment for the Beastmaster as he held his life in his arms and fought against the rising tide of emotions that warred within him. Joy, gratitude, peace...and the aching fear. All vied for control and with the powerful combination of the first, Dar was surprised they did not drown out the fear. The fear was there and yet it was a good fear. It was a fear that would spurn him forward, to make him determined to not lose what he held more dearer to him than his own life. Tao's fate was in question. His life was in danger by a mystical custom no man had ever bothered to question or come against. Dar would. His life as well as Tao's depended on it.
A growling yawn broke their contact and, with their arms tightly around each other, they turned to see Ruh licking his chops, sitting there like the king of forest. He was looking at them with a bored gaze. "What do you want?" Dar asked.
**'It's about time.**
Dar rolled his eyes and grinned. "What is it?" Tao asked.
"He's just being annoying." He turned back to Tao and grinned at him. "Can we wait a little longer? When it happens I want to be sure I'm going to have you with me for a long, long time."
Tao nodded. "I'd rather it be a 'hello' joining rather than a 'good-bye' anyway. Let's go."
The two walked off with Ruh following beside them. Sharak glided the air above them, like a scout, searching for oncoming danger.
Tao had been resigned to face this judgement alone, to accept his fate. Now, with all that had happened, he knew that Dar would do all he could to keep it from happening. He chastised himself for thinking anything different.
*****
Dar couldn't keep his hands off Tao as they walked. Not that the Eiron minded the show of affection, in fact he welcomed it. However, it seemed a bit awkward to revel in physical touching and the joy it brought when death awaited him.
He pulled Dar into a stop and drew him in for another kiss. Dar willingly responded and when they finally separated Tao looked deeply into his eyes. "It's over the next hill, Dar," he warned.
Dar, his arms still around Tao, looked in the direction and saw the massive hill they would have to climb. "What is it, Tao? Why there?"
"Have you never been there?"
Dar shook his head. "It's an area I'm unfamiliar with."
"It's the place of the spirits. Our dead ancestors congregate there...in a sense they become our judges at death. Have we stayed true to the Eiron cause, the philosophy of our people? These are the questions presented to each individual when facing the end of their course."
"All your ancestors?"
"Well, not all, just the ones in authority. They act like our guardians, keeping us on the right path. Only when those of us veer off course do they make their presence known. And..." he turned back to Dar. "As much as I really, *really* want to be with you right now, what waits for me over that hill is death."
Dar sobered. "And you have to go face it, no matter what the outcome."
"The outcome is death, Dar."
"No, Tao. I refuse to accept that. Not this time."
"And just what are you going to do about it, go up against supernatural forces?" Tao looked at him as if he was crazy.
"I've done it before. What makes this so different?" Dar said with confidence.
"Because most of those other forces were physically tangible. These won't be. You won't be able to use your sword or sick Ruh on them, or tell Sharak to claw their eyes out. And you won't be able to send the rodents in to annoy the Balsefer out of them."
"Tao?"
"What?"
"I'll think of something."
"You won't, Dar."
"Stop it!" Dar shouted and put his hands to Tao's face, giving him a slight shake. "Will you stop it? You're giving up before you've begun to fight! That's not like you."
"These are my people, Dar, my customs and beliefs. How can I fight against what I was raised to believe?"
"You question, that's how. You ask...'why?' "
"You never ask why, Dar," Tao whispered softly and a smile graced the words. "Except to question why I ask why."
Dar smiled and a small chuckle escaped him. "You've taught me much, Tao. And...I hope I've taught you something as well."
"If you mean sometimes you just have to fight..." he reached up and traced a finger lovingly through Dar's hair. "I honestly don't know how to fight this battle." The underlying tone of 'help me' was clear. Dar latched onto it. "Then what say you and I find out?" Dar pulled his sword out from the scabbard on his back and gripped the hilt. "If Dartanus said you were destined to join with me.then this sword may show us how to get you out of this."
"Dar...what if...what if when you find your family and you take your place as king...well, you're going to need a queen to sire an heir. What if I'm just not meant to go with you beyond finding your family? What if all I am to do is just help you get to that point?"
"Then they still can't take you, because I haven't found my family yet."
"Dar, you're not listening to me. What happens to me when your destiny is reached? Where will I go, who will I become...to you?"
At this, Dar stopped and stared at Tao, confused. He had never thought that far ahead. He had never even thought as far as becoming lovers with Tao. Now this? A question of the future? Of society and structure?
"Tao, I don't know. I just know one thing. I realize now that I love you. I realize now how important you are to me. As for the bloodline of my family continuing...I have two other brothers. I won't lose you. Not now, not ever. Hear me?"
Tao seemed to sag with relief and Dar realized at that moment exactly what was going through his friend's mind and heart. "Is that why you were so willing to give up without a fight? Because you thought I would not need you once my family was found?"
Tao shrugged. "Well, it was a legitimate question, Dar. I wasn't sure how to present it to you without sounding like I was whining about the possible outcome. Society and its rules can be harsh, especially when dealing with royal blood."
Dar grinned. "I'll be king, won't I? I'll just make it a decree."
Tao offered him a grin back, but it was resigned. "Something tells me it won't be that easy, Dar."
Dar's grin faded. "Let me worry about it, Tao. Until then, let's deal with what is in front of us, not what lies down the road."
"It could make a difference to the elders if you had an answer, Dar. If you insist on coming with me, they could very easily put you on trial with me."
Dar gripped his sword handle tightly. "Then let's not keep them waiting."
*****
It wasn't what Dar expected.
He was expecting more trees, more hills or roads leading into a city or leading into the boundaries of a religious sector.
What he saw was a river of black mist. Beyond the river were more hills and trees, but to get to those hills and trees one had to cross this void of...nothing. "What is it?" he asked, partly amazed, partly confused, mostly cautious.
"The doorway," Tao replied, as he started down the side of the hill.
Dar quickly grabbed his arm in fear. "What are you doing?" he demanded.
"I have to go down there, Dar. The spirits wait for me to join with them."
As he started off again, Dar tightened his grip. "No!"
Tao looked exasperated. Without looking at Dar, he swallowed his anger. "It's either this or I burst into flames right here and now. It's up to you." With those last words he did look up at Dar.
No words could describe the look they exchanged then. It was deeper than anything they could have ever said. Tao was resigned, but more than that he was doing what he believed to be his duty. He believed he had brought dishonor to the Eiron name. He was willing to do all he could to make up for that mistake. Even at the risk of losing what he had gained with Dar in the last twenty-four hours. "This is that important to you?" Dar whispered.
"If I don't face this, Dar...should we find a way out of this...how can I ever face you? You are going up against the demon of air and darkness. And no matter what I feel about it, I know it's your destiny. This is mine. Why is it I am supposed to accept yours, knowing it could mean your death, and you cannot accept this about mine?"
Dar studied him, locking eyes with him, seeing in those brown orbs the truth in the words just spoken. He released his hold and Tao held out his hand. "I am permitted this one chance. A witness. It's dangerous though. If they refuse you...it could mean your death because you bothered to interfere. And most certainly mine because I dared defy their judgement..." he smiled at Dar, "to ask 'why?'"
Dar smiled and wrapped his hand around Tao's. "What you have done since being with me is honorable and you have taught many and learned much. They need to understand that those things come in many different ways. That sometimes it's not the world that teaches you, but what is happening around you, even in your homeland."
Tao grinned. "Your last chance to back out, Dar."
"How can I?"
"Then let's go."
Tao led Dar down into the ravine to the black mist's edge. He looked into the swirling void of darkness and felt the cold chill of death. He smelled the stench of it and looked at Dar one more time. "Follow me," he said and he bravely took a step into the mist. He found himself falling like a feather into the mire.
Dar watched in horror as his...his lover...was pulled from him, sinking deeper into the blackness. He instantly put a foot forward...and found he could not follow. His way was blocked! Instead of falling into the mire, he was walking across it. He knelt down in the middle of the river and gazed into its swirling depths only to see Tao falling further and further away from him. "TAO!" He pounded on the invisible barrier that separated him from his chosen path and he pounded until his knuckles bled. "TAO! TAO!" He screamed and called out, but no amount of beckoning would open the doorway.
He heard Tao's voice calling to him as if from miles away. "DAARRRRR!"
And then, in moments, Tao was gone, and Dar was left to stare into the swirling black mist. "Tao," he whispered, and the tears filled his eyes. "No," he shook his head in disbelief. He began to pound the barrier again. "LET ME IN!" he shouted. "LET ME BE WITH HIM! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO KEEP ME FROM HIM!"
Then something strange happened. A swirl of blackness gathered to form a funnel and it grew in strength and power until Dar was thrown back onto the edge of the black mist's bank. A voice came from within the black funnel. "You are not welcome here, Beastmaster. You speak of rights, of keeping you from Tao, but it is you that has kept Tao from his destiny, his mission for the way of his people. You have no right being here. No right to demand anything from us."
"I SPEAK FOR HIM! I AM HIS WITNESS! HE BELIEVED THAT TO BE HIS RIGHT!"
"To be called away from one's chosen path by necessity is one thing, Beastmaster. To be called away by desire is something else entirely. **You** were the focus of his desire. **You** became his stumbling block."
"And so you fault him for following his heart?" Dar asked with disgust prevalent in his tone. "Deal with me, then. Punish me for this so-called crime."
"You are insignificant. We want nothing to do with you. It is Tao that must pay the penalty. His heart is not on trial here, except for the deceptive means with which it lured Tao away from his heritage. He placed into action the desire of his heart. His course was set before he took the calling. Had he continued without deviation, he would have learned of Voden's plans to conquer Xinca. We could have been warned. Many lives would have been saved. Instead he chose his desire over his destiny."
Dar got to his feet. "I'll find a way to stop you!" he vowed.
The voice laughed with delight, as if amused by an animal playing tricks for its human master. "You can try, Beastmaster...however, things of this nature are not within your realm of knowledge. You will not succeed."
"You're wrong! I love Tao and he loves me. That alone should atone for any crime you say he has committed."
"Love in the light of duty is a poor excuse to fail, Beastmaster. Learn the lesson well and say 'good-bye' to Tao. You will never see him again."
And then the funnel died down to where the river once again churned and rolled with the black mist. Dar gazed down into it once more. Fire. Tao said he was to be executed by fire. If he fell down into this river, this doorway...then it would be to the bowels of the earth he would arrive. Dar looked up to see Sharak gliding over head. With his mind he said, **Find me an entrance to the underground.**
Sharak replied, **As good as done.** And then he flew off, making a perimeter sweep for any opening that could lead Dar down into the earth.
Dar turned to Ruh, who stood ready to follow. "What, no smart remarks from you?"
Ruh only swished his tail and started to follow in the direction Sharak had gone.
Dar had to grin at the tiger. Ruh knew when to be quiet. At least that was something. "You should go back to your family. This could get dangerous."
**Tao family, you family. Children accept this.**
Dar let out a knowing sigh. "Thank you, my friend."
The two continued after Sharak.
*****
Dar kept the river of black mist in sight as he continued his journey. Sharak was circling the area, stretching his search pattern further and further outward, but there was no sign of an entrance into the underground. Dar became frustrated and he let out an angry yell as he began to pace, to think of some other means. He had been walking for hours. He had no idea this 'doorway' could stretch over this much land. What was this river and why had he never heard of it before...not even in legend?
"Because it is only revealed to those it affects," came the response from an all too familiar voice. Dar froze for a second, then slowly turned to see Dartanus standing there his arms casually crossed over his muscular chest. He was looking at Dar with amusement.
"Dartanus," Dar said in greeting, but it was obvious he was not happy to see this man, the mystery man that spoke in riddles and disappeared at the most inopportune times. "I don't have time for your riddles right now. I have to save Tao."
"Save Tao. Indeed, you must. He is, after all, your lover now."
Dar glared at him. "We just discovered that about ourselves this morning. How could you have known?"
Dartanus smiled and shook his head, still very amused. "Dar, do you think me stupid?"
"Stupid? No. Vague? Yes."
Dartanus conceded that point with a shrug. "I knew you two would become more than friends when I first laid eyes on the fact that you desired to protect him. I was there when Tao was taken to that island with the bat creatures. I saw how you went after him. Even though you thought he talked too much and was really only a pest. You destroyed the garden he made for you, remember?"
Dar winced. He remembered and the memory caused a surge of regret. Tao had only been trying to help and had smiled all the while, thinking he was doing Dar a grand favor. And Dar just tore it all down after Tao had separated from him that day. Their worlds had been so different then.
"So different," Dartanus said and Dar jerked his attention back to the older man. Could he read his mind? Dartanus chuckled slightly. "You both were so different in style and culture and knowledge. You knew the jungle, Tao knew of information regarding the interaction of humans. Something you needed desperately. You were so much in tune with the animals you forgot about where you really came from. It was Tao that showed you the way back to your path. Without him, you would still be roaming the jungles, keeping out of the way of humans and their attempts to rip the world apart to domesticate it. I knew, even then, Dar, that you and Tao would become more than what you were. And when Tao almost died at the hands of that soul-eater, that Succubus, your love for him became known to you. Your problem, Dar, is that you only see what's directly in front of you. Not that you are any different than any other man in that respect. It's just that some men train themselves to expand their vision, or they are taught. Which is why I'm here now. To teach you to expand your vision. You see a river that separates you from your heart. You must look beyond what you see to break through that barrier."
"I tried breaking through. They refused me entrance."
"And you think that finding an opening will lead you to Tao?"
"Yes. What other course can I take?"
"The one right in front of you."
Dar rolled his eyes. Sometimes he wanted to throttle this man and shake him into making sense. "Can you not speak in riddles for once?"
"What riddle? I speak plainly. It is you that is not listening clearly."
Dartanus circled Dar and fingered the hilt of the sword that stuck out of the scabbard on the younger man's back. "Sometimes things are just within our reach...if we only take the time to extend our hand."
Dar noticed the indication of the sword. He then looked down at his hand. The thought of becoming as crazy as Dartanus crossed his mind. Why else were the older man's riddles starting to make sense? Dar turned to look at the river. It couldn't. No. Could it? He made a face as if what Dartanus was implying was impossible. He turned to tell him so when he saw the man had disappeared yet again. He snorted as if saying, 'It figures', and pulled out his sword. He studied the blade and then the river. "I better be seeing clearly now," he muttered to the air. "Or your precious king is going to get hurt real bad."
++++
Tao was thrown before the council of the dead. He shook his head as the differences in realities overtook him. He felt sick. Now he understood why spirits could not join with the physical unless in physical form. The formula for such a joining would cause destruction. He felt himself encased in an invisible barrier and the dizzy, sick feeling left. His vision cleared somewhat and he stood, looking around the underground cavern. "I've heard of this place."
A man moved forward toward him, a spirit by the way he glided. "I am Seeraie," he said.
Tao's eyes widened at the mention of this man's name. "Seeraie? You...you're the founder of our people. The one who taught us to learn!"
The man bowed in acknowledgement. "The very same. It is a serious charge brought against you, Tao. That is why I am overseeing this trial."
Tao studied the spirit. He was youthful, in his early twenties, with black hair and brown eyes, the common look of the Eiron. "You're so young," Tao observed. "I thought you died when you were in your eighties."
"I did. In death we revert back to the age we became enlightened. If we travel the course set for us, that is. It is a type of reward for our taking the Journey."
Tao swallowed. "And for those of us accused of not following our set path?"
Seeraie squint his eyes at Tao. "No amount of enlightenment can change what such a person receives at death. Complete destruction...even of soul."
Tao closed his eyes and he felt as if the weight of the world had just landed on his shoulders. "So...I am to cease to exist even in the after life, is that it?"
Seeraie only inclined his head in the affirmative. Tao backed up into the barrier that surrounded him and he slid to the floor as the realization of his future became focused. He would have no future. Not even in death.
He shut his eyes. "You will not even give me a chance to defend myself?"
"Of course. Which is why we have called you here, Tao. This is a trial, as I said. You will have your say in court."
"But my witness...Dar...he could not follow after me."
"If he could not follow after you to speak for you then you must ask yourself if he is worthy of such a price from you? To forfeit your life...your after life...tell me, Tao, Is this Dar, this Beastmaster, worth your soul?"
Tao stared off into space as he felt the weight of his sadness engulf him. He thought of his life without Dar...where would he be? Would he be as fulfilled and as happy as he had been these last two years?
No. He wouldn't have been. He was certain of that. "I have had him in my life, Master Eiron. I have experienced his companionship...his protection...his love." Tao looked down and closed his eyes as the sting of tears hit. "I would give anything for him...even my eternity."
"Perhaps...perhaps you would at that, Tao. But the question is...and Dar himself even broached this question to himself just recently...how far would he go to save you?"
Tao jerked his head up and ignored the streaming tears that made two fresh tracks down his cheeks. He stood and ran to the barrier, trying to push through it. "No! You wouldn't! You can't! I won't let you!"
"Let us? Tao, dear boy, you are in no position to protest. May I remind you, that you are a prisoner here?" Seeraie gestured to the circular boundary enfolding Tao. "What your Beastmaster does from this point on...is up to him and him alone. I suggest you sit back and relax. We may be in for a long wait."
Seeraie glided off into the air and disappeared. Tao looked all around him. No one was in sight. He was alone. He sat down and wrapped his arms around himself. Suddenly he was no longer worried about his destiny...his future...his eternity. Dar had no idea what was in store and if he tried to save Tao...all could be lost. He fell to his side and allowed the silent tears to spill. "Stay away, Dar. Don't come for me. Let me go. It's over. Just...let me go."
Somehow he knew...his plea would go unheeded.
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